The Hardest Job You Will Ever Love That Will Almost Kill You

These are not my boys.  But when I saw this picture
I just laughed.  Something felt so....familiar!

I remember the exact moment.
We had just moved to Dayton, Ohio, and had begun the Great Church Hunt. While visiting with a family at the Fellowship we ended up attending, the Dad, who had a house full of teenagers, looked at me, surrounded by my little ones, and said, "I remember those days. I sure miss them. They were a lot easier."

Easier???? Really????
I was standing there with three little boys, the youngest on my hip who was not quite a year, a two-year old who at home was a whirling dervish, but in public became the child who clings to your leg and wraps himself up in your skirt, and a four year old who was already worried about what other people thought of him.

I loved my boys.
But THIS was EASIER?
I was continually tying their shoes, or wiping noses or other parts of their anatomy, or preparing food, or acting like the referee of a WWF fight, or dropping everything to respond to a scream, or realizing it was TOO quiet and I had to figured just what was going on.
THIS was the easy part?!?!

Fast forward quite a few years.
We now live in Dover, Delaware, 4 moves later.
We are in church with six children and one on the way.
I am dealing with homeschooling all three levels of school (high school, junior high, elementary), have teenagers to toddlers, a husband who works untold hours of work, and dealing with pregnancy weariness and emotions like I had never had before.

And the pastor is talking about his older children, who are all out of the house.
For a moment, I sigh and let my mind wander to that time when they are all grown up and out of the house. They will of course be happily married, and have good jobs, and come visit me often in my clean house bringing my beautiful, well-behaved grandchildren. There may have even been fuzzy edges on this picture and a white picket fence around the house.

And then pastor went and burst my dream by saying, "This is the hardest time of being a parent that we have ever had."

WHAT?!
It is going to get HARDER?!?!?
Are you kidding me?
Stop the train conductor, 'cause I am getting off!!!

I remembered times I had thought, "When they can all just tie their shoes. THEN it will be easier."
Or, "When they can all fix themselves a sandwich. THEN it will be easier."
Or, "When they all come to know the Lord for themselves. THEN it will be easier."

And I can now say: Nope. Never gets easier.

Sorry if I am bursting your bubble. But let us be honest.

Mothering is the hardest job that you will ever love that will almost kill you.

It is true.
If you truly love your children and truly the want the best for them (and what Mother does not) then you will:

• make them eat things they don't like but are good for them
• draw the line and not let them act like hooligans
• make them go and confess and apologize for some horrible thing that they have done, which will not only be good for their character, but will embarrass you to the depths of your toes.
• be the "only Mother" who will not let her children read the scandalous book or watch the immoral movie.
• go to every sports event, piano concert, dance recital, speech tournament, or any other thing that catches their fancy and cheer wildly or console gently....which ever is called for.....with your entire being. 
• require them to study and learn and not allow them to be satisfied with mediocre work, but push them to find the better part in themselves where the excellence lies.
• look straight into their teenage, know-it-all eyes, draw the line in the sand, keep your cool, and Not Give In!
• give them the best piece of pie, the last drink of lemonade, the optimal viewing point for the parade, the softest pillow, the warmest blanket, and the longest hug, all at your own personal expense.

And then, as they get older, you will watch them make decisions that worry you, and you will have to keep your mouth shut, smile as convincingly as you can, turn around, and run to your prayer closet. And there you will pray to the only One who can truly take care of them.

Motherhood truly is the most amazing, most difficult, most rewarding job.....that will almost kill you.

And it is worth every blood letting, tear dropping, heart pounding, soul wrenching, joy abounding moment.

I am so glad I am a Mom. It is the best Hard Job I have ever had.

And so I wish all the Moms out there:  HAPPY MOTHER'S DAY!

And remember, what doesn't kill you, makes you stronger. 

Too Many Hats?

Moms have always been known for their ability to wear a multitude of hats:

• Counselor
• Teacher
• Cook
• Medical Assistant
• Taxi Driver
• Laundress
• Judge
• Jury
• Executioner
• Finder of any and all lost items
• Logistical planner
• Inventory Manager
• Boo-boo kisser
• Last minute fixer of problems
• Owner of biggest shoulder to cry on in the world

Really, that list only begins to scratch the surface.

More Analogies:

Lately, I have had more hats than possibly ever in my life. In fact, I can barely stick with the one analogy.

There is always the "spinning plate" analogy. Sometimes I feel just like the guy on stage, spinning plates, and I have reached my critical mass when there are too many plates and I simply can't keep them all spinning. Something is going to crash, and something is going to break. At. Any. Moment.

Or maybe I should go with the "too many irons in the fire" analogy which refers to a blacksmith, back in the day when there were blacksmiths, who had so many projects going on simultaneously that he would put so many irons in the fire that he couldn't keep up. I know just how that blacksmith feels.

But lately I felt more like this guy from one of my favorite children's books, "Caps for Sale." In the story the man with all the hats has them on his head to transport them from one town to another in order to sell them.

Okay, so my analogy breaks down here. I am not selling anything.

But I do feel like I have that many hats on my head, in the sense that each hat represents another job to do. One I can't ignore. One I really need to get around to. One that if I fail something bad might happen.

It is at moments like this, or seasons like this, or years like this, that I am tempted to reach down to my bootstraps and pull them up and make lists and work hard and get up early and go to bed late and get my flesh good and productive.

Or there is the other alternative of just rolling over and refusing to get out of bed in the morning. There is just so much to do that ignoring the whole thing seems, at the moment, the most logical option.

Either alternative though is allowing my flesh to control me instead of the Spirit.

What's a Girl To Do?

What do I do when I don't know which job to work on next and I am tempted to throw up me hands in despair?

          I remember Isaiah 30:21:  Whether your turn to the right or to the left, your ears will hear a voice behind you, saying, "This is the way; walk in it."

What do I do when I am working and working away, and see no fruit, and begin to question the point of it all?

          I remember Psalm 126:5:  Those who sow in tears shall reap with joyful shouting!

What do I do when I am so tired that the only productive thing I can think of to do is to sit down and cry?

          I remember Isaiah 40:31: those who wait on the Lord shall renew their strength.

What do I do when I know that I cannot possibly do what is before me to do? No way! No how!

          I remember 2 Corinthians 12:9: But He said to me, "My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness." Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ's power may rest on me.

Maybe when I learn to wear just one hat I will
look as peaceful and serene as she does!
I got this from "Victorian Source:
 http://lacetoleather.com/victorian.html

Just One Hat

Thank you Lord. 

Though You give me lots of jobs to do, You only give me one hat.

Help me, please, remember that all I really need to wear is just that one hat.

The hat of the daughter of the King.

The hat of one dearly loved and protected.

The hat of one who is sustained and maintained by the God of the Universe.

Just one hat.

 

Sayin' Goodbye to the Forties!

There are my new birthday boots!
Taken with my new birthday iPad!
Making getting old isn't so bad after all.

My birthday was yesterday, April 19th, and I turned 49 years old. (do the math if you want to figure out the year!)

Famously, it is the date Captain Cook first spotted Australia and the day of the first shot of the American Revolution.

Infamously, it the date of the fall of the Branch Davidian compound in Waco and the Oklahoma City bombing. Lovely.

It is so odd to keep getting older according to the calendar and according to your body and according to your hair, but to really and truly not feel any older on the inside.

I am not one that resents getting older.
I don't feel the need to look like I am 20 for the rest of my life.
Every person on the planet has ten years to enjoy being in their 20's. That is it. And then you get ten years to be in your 30's. And then....I am sure you have figured out the math by now.

And I am now in the final year I am allotted of being in my 40's.
Like I said, I don't resent getting older, but there are some aspects I don't like. But, there are also facts about myself that I am finally comfortable with and finally accept. And there are some hard earned lessons that I wouldn't give up for all the firm skin and absence of gray hair you could give me.

Things I Don't Like:

• the way my neck looks if my head is bent down. I hope the fashion of wearing scarves sticks around for several more decades.
• the effect of gravity on my body. Enough said.
• the fact that if I eat as much as I ate just a few short years ago, I will definitely NOT look like I did a few short years ago. There will most definitely be MORE of me to love!
• the way aches and pains just sort of pop up out of nowhere. Areas hurt that I never even realized I had!

Things I Am Comfortable With (finally):

• I don't sing well and will never perform a solo. But I absolutely love making a joyful noise to the Lord!
• I am short.
• I like to sleep.
• I am sortof messy. I go from one project to another when not everything is put away from the previous project. But I get more done that way, so....
• I am an idea person with lots of things I have thought of that I would like to do. For years I have felt like a failure that all the ideas were not getting done. Now I look at them as a multiple choice of possibilities.

Things I KNOW (in the deepest part of my "knower):

• God is good, all the time.
• God wastes nothing.
• God has a plan and the hurts, the failures, and the derailments of life will not alter that plan.
• I must never, EVER, compare myself or what I have or what I don't have to anyone and what I perceive to be what they have or don't have.
• I am not good.
• I am not good enough.
• God never asked me to be.
• My greatest joy, my greatest contentment, my greatest fulfillment, my greatest achievement is found in a deep, intimate, continual relationship with the King of my heart.

So hello forty-nine!  My last year of my forties. Let's make it a good one!

I Don't Get It !

"I don't understand!"
"That's not fair!"
"Why me?"
"What do you mean?!?"
"I don't get it!"

Oh, so often, the above is my response when something happens that seems unfair and I just don't understand. Or when I view injustices. Or when I observe disparities.

Let's be honest.
So much of life is unfair. There are many inequalities.
There is always someone who has more. Or someone who looks better. Or someone who is more talented. Or someone who is...well, you get the picture.
I don't get it.

And then there is the bad stuff.

There is the person who drinks, smokes, lives immorally, and has great health and lives a long time.
And then there is another person who exercises, and juices, and avoids sugar, and gets a disease and dies young.

It is so unfair.
I don't get it.

We have a friend, a man in his 40's, with six young children, and a devoted wife, who suddenly began loosing weight and experiencing pain. After a few months of run arounds and doctor appointments he was diagnosed with a horrific cancer, with no medical recourse. He was simply sent home.

It is so unfair.
I don't get it.


Maybe thinking about my friend made the following passage jump out at me recently when I heard it:

Jesus answered and said to him, "What I do you do not realize now, but you shall understand hereafter."      ~John 13:5

Jesus here is referring to His act of washing His disciples feet. Here was the Lord, the Rabbi, the leader of this band.  And He acted as a Servant.

And it didn't make any sense.
The disciples didn't get it.

Why should He kneel?
They were supposed to kneel to Him.

Why should He serve?
They were supposed to serve Him.

So, of course, it didn't make any sense.
The disciples did not understand.
They didn't realize what He was doing.
It was confusing.
They didn't get it.

And as I thought of that picture, several things in my life that did not make sense suddenly rushed into focus.

It is a fact that Jesus does things in my life, and I don't realize WHAT He is doing, or WHY He is doing it, or HOW He will ever get it all worked out.

I don't get it.
It doesn't make sense.

But He gets it. It makes sense to Him. He knows WHAT, WHY, and HOW He is doing EVERYTHING He is doing.

He wastes nothing.
He messes up nothing.
He redeems everything.

Everything that happens in my life, or doesn't happen in my life, is an act of My Lord,
-washing my feet
-cleansing away the grime of the world
-conforming my heart unto His own.

How can He love me so much?
How can He take such care of me?
How can He orchestrate every detail of my life?
How can He humble Himself to wash away my filth?

It doesn't make sense.
I just don't get it.

Humble yourselves, therefore, under the mighty hand of God, that He may exalt you at the proper time, casting all your anxiety upon Him, because He  cares for you.               ~II Peter 5:6,7