Whatever Lord!

The Miracle of Transformed Love

2012-02-14T13:28:00.000-08:00

In honor of Valentine's Day, I am reposting this lesson about True Love.

True Love is not what is in our selves, or what we feel when our Honey walks into the room.

No. True Love occurs when the fleshly love that is in ourselves is transformed into something beautiful and joyful and valuable.

True Love is Love that has moved from water into win.

The sun sat just above the trees, …the music had played, …the mother of bride had cried,… and now the minister spoke, “Jesus, Himself went to a wedding, and blessed it with the first miracle, of changing water into wine.”

We have been to many weddings in the past few years. I have often heard this miracle mentioned when the minister speaks to the new couple. But as I sat at this wedding I had a totally new thought and realization of a deeper meaning in the picture this story paints for us.

Scripture is that way- so deep and layered and meaningful. Even a Scripture we have read and heard multiple times has more to teach us. It IS living and active.

The story of Jesus’ first miracle is found in John 2:1-10 and is a familiar story.

Jesus goes to a wedding and the wine runs out so His mother asks Him to fix the problem, because moms want to fix problems- even other peoples’ problems.

When Jesus has the servants fill the water jars with water I wonder what everyone was thinking? This was not the obvious solution to the dilemma. These were not even water jars for holding drinking water. They were special jars for holding water for purification. But when the water came back out of those jars, it had changed. It was not water any more. Now, it was wine.

The wine that came from the water that was poured into the purification jars was of excellent quality- the steward called it “the good wine”. The word for “good” can also mean choice and exceptional. Not the everyday wine. Not the cheap stuff, but the kind that is reserved for special occasions.

As I watched these two precious souls entrust themselves to each other I was struck that when we come to the marriage altar we bring our love for the other person and our good intentions. But that love is really an offering of water.

It gets poured into each others’ lives, but as all long-timed married couples know, the love you bring to the wedding, while wonderful and warm and lovely, will never be enough to get you through a lifetime of good days and bad days, of gains and losses, of triumphs and tragedies.

For that, your love must be transformed and multiplied. It must become the kind that is more about giving than getting.

It must become the kind that can bear all things.

That can believe all things.

That can hope all things.

That can endure all things.

But now we are no longer talking about a natural kind of love. Now we are talking about a supernatural kind of love. We are talking about a purified love.

What our love needs is a purification jar and Jesus.

In a recent ministry letter, a teacher I deeply admire, Dwight Pryor (www.jcstudies.com), wrote this about marriage:

Far more important than falling in love is the biblical mandate of growing in love, one toward the other. Only then can the highest goal of marriage be achieved: not satisfying personal desires, but sanctifying the name of God. If all this sounds more sacrificial than sensational, it should. Authentic love is never self-serving.”

Most of the “love” that we see in the movies coming from Hollywood is about what you get, not what you give. About if you are satisfied, not if you serve another. About finding “the one”, not about being “the one”. About finding a “soul mate”, instead of bringing to your marriage a soul satisfied and completed by Jesus.

So how do we move from self-serving love to authentic love?

Jesus speaks to us how we are to love one another:

Luke 6:32, 35: “If you love those who love you, what credit is that to you? For even sinnerslove those who love them...But love your enemies, and do good, and lend, expecting nothing back.”

John 13:34: "A new commandment I give to you, that you love one another, even as I have loved you, that you also love one another.”

I John 4:19: We love, because He first loved us.

In other words, we need to have a love that moves from water to wine.

The water kind of love continually needs to be drank over and over because it does not satisfy for long- so it continues to look for ways to be fulfilled. Instead, what the water kind of love needs is to be poured in the purification jars and be miraculously transformed by the Lord who not only is the only One who can work the miracle, but also the One who showed us what sacrificial, authentic love is all about.

So the next time you feel your “cheap wine” love running out,

and when all you have to bring to replenish the wine with is water,

then give it to Jesus and let Him transform it into love of exceptional quality…into authentic love…into the “good stuff”.

Thoughts Whitney Made Me Think

2012-02-12T15:27:00.000-08:00

This is Whitney Houston.
She is gorgeous.
She can sing like the angels.
She has a range that most can not touch.
She is tall and slim.
She is an award winning artist.
She has made millions of dollars.
She has succeeded in multiple musical genres.
She has succeeded in music and film.
She is famous the world over.
On last Friday, Feb. 10th, 2012, she was 48 years old.

This is me.
I am average looking.
I can sing with great gusto if not perfect pitch.
I have a range of about 7 notes.
I am short.
The last time I won an award was in Camp Fire Girls when I was 10.
I have made very little money.
I have not succeeded in music, movies, books, or any other industry.
My family and friends know me.
On last Friday, Feb. 10th, 2012, I was 48 years old.

I always admired Whitney Houston. She had more talent with one vocal cord tied behind her back than any other singer I have ever heard. And for the first few years of her career she seemed to maintain a down-to-earth, girl next door attitude that gave me the hope that she could survive super stardom. But, unfortunately, that was not to be her story.

When I heard that she had died yesterday, I felt true sorrow.
Such talent.
So much waste.

She and I had very little in common, except our age.

But I think seeing that we were the same age brought me up a little short. How could a woman who was my age, who enjoyed so many privileges, who had unlimited potential, who had obtained amazing achievements.....how could she have been so miserable the last few years?

Maybe the things I wish I had more of, like money and talent and opportunity and travel and pretty clothes and, and, and.....the things I think would make my life "easier".....or that would make me "happier".....maybe none of those things really matter at all.

They really don't seem to make ANYBODY happy.
They really don't scratch the itch.
They really don't fill the empty places.
They really don't make life easier.

I think my wish should not be to have a better singing voice or to make millions or dollars or to grow taller.

Instead, I think this all has made me think deeper and understand better the Apostle Paul when he wrote to the Philippians:

Not that I speak from want, for I have learned to be content in whatever circumstances I am. I know how to get along with humble means, and I also know how to live in prosperity; in any and every circumstance I have learned the secret of being filled and going hungry, both of having abundance and suffering need. I can do all things through Him who strengthens me. ~Philippians 4:11-13

I am truly sorry that Whitney Houston died. But I am grateful today for the thoughts her life has made me think.

Walking With The Lord

2012-02-08T13:06:00.000-08:00

My sweet family on Christmas Day, 2011

The following is our Christmas letter for 2011.

Why (you may be asking)....why are you posting it now?

Because it just got done. Yep. It got finished and sent in February. Sigh.

I have many dreams. One of them is that I will someday get my Christmas letters out BEFORE Christmas.

Until then....my friends and family can read my Christmas letter in February!

Thus I will strengthen them by my power,

and they will walk aboutin my name,”

says the Lord. Zechariah 10:12

Ornaments are boxed up. The tree is taken down. Lights are stored away. New family friends’ pictures are on the fridge. Valentine’s products are in the stores. But even with all those signs that Christmas is definitely over there are still a few Christmas letters straggling in from the people who couldn’t quite make it all happen before the holidays. Don’t you wonder what is wrong with those people? I mean, it is called a Christmas letter after all? Don’t they know that?

Well, since we are one of the “theys”, I can answer for all of us in the “Late Letter Club”. We are all very aware that our letter is late, it just that we are also long standing members in the “Better Late Than Never Club”. So yes, once again, the Macias missive is arriving in your mailbox later than it should. Such is the way we travel down this road that the Lord has placed us upon. We limp, we sprint, we lag, we catch up, and we sometimes show up late. But we do keep trying to show up! Our walk down this road of life can be bumpy and occasionally treacherous, but it is also a walk made more beautiful by our companionship with the Lord and our friendship with each other.

But those who wait for the Lord’s help find renewed strength;

they rise up as if they had eagles’ wings,they run without growing weary,

they walk without getting tired. Isaiah 40:31

The Papa has faithfully walked the road set before him this year. Nathan has continued working on his company EduNation with the other two partners and while it has not been easy, God has faithfully led and taught in that. One new path Nathan has laid is a path over to Lackland AFB where once a month he gets to minister to Basic Trainees in a Sunday School setting. This has been a perfect ministry for him where he can teach, edify, equip, and encourage. There are also recently some new, exciting roads opening up, both with business and with ministry. For the business opportunities you will have to read next year’s letter to see what develops. As for ministry, he is looking forward to teaching in our church several times in the upcoming months, and will be helping with a new ministry to business men in our local area.

The Mama took an amazing road this year…one that landed her at the Mediterranean Sea! Some dear friends took Susan, Grace, and Leah along on a 21 day cruise that hit amazing spots all over the Sea. She was pretty bruised at the end as she had been continually pinching herself to see if she was dreaming! Besides that amazing highlight, she has also been busy this year with the “normal” road of real life- teaching the girls, organizing the home, juggling the schedule, and doing the next thing. In the “spare” time she taught at some women’s events this year, helped with several weddings, and wrote regularly on her blog, “Whatevermylord”. This fall God brought a new path for her to travel. She has begun working with a small Christian school, Summit Christian Academy, where she is assisting with the administration and development of the school. Walking with the Lord is never short of surprises!

I have no greater joy than this, to hear of my children walking in the truth. 3 John 1:4

The Fireman has forged his own path with a mix of adventure, work, hobbies, and friends. Caleb continues to enjoy firefighting and the occasional moments of extreme adrenaline it can bring. Besides Luke, there are 3 other friends who share his house with him…think of a fraternity house, but without the fraternity. One of Caleb’s adventures this year was driving his motorcycle up to Colorado by himself in May. Besides increasing his family’s prayer life, this also gave him great opportunities for photographs. Photography is one of his hobbies and he has been Grace’s assistant at a couple of weddings. He has been playing soccer in a league with a group of old high school friends as well as coaching varsity soccer for a homeschool team. His personal situation has not been resolved but he is surrounded by friends and family who love and support him, and he is constantly accompanied by his two loyal, playful dogs, Toby and Tess.

The Politico has laid a new road for himself by starting his own company this year, a political consulting company called Macias Strategies. Luke has clients all over the state and is working hard on their campaigns. This involves lots of time on the road, lots of time on the computer, and lots of time talking…so, yes, it fits him perfectly! Luke, who has been full of opinions since he could speak, maintains several blogs and websites: lukemacias.com; effectualchange.com; theyouthchallenge.com. Besides all the hard work he also fits in playing soccer, traveling, being in friends’ weddings, and talking on the phone more than seems humanly possible.

The Bible Student enjoyed a year in the Rocky Mountains at Ravencrest Bible and graduated from his first year course. And then after a summer of working lawn maintenance in a record hot, dry drought in Texas, Aaron hit the road and high-tailed it back to Colorado for a second year of leadership training at Ravencrest. We aren’t sure what he sees in this life in the mountains with its low humidity, beautiful views, and opportunities to climb and ski, but apparently he enjoys it! We were glad to have him home over Christmas when he brought his jokes, puns, help, and hugs back to our house (as well as his laundry of course!). What does the road ahead hold for Aaron? As of now, he is not sure where God would have him go next, but he is sure God knows!

The Photographer has officially started her business and has shot two weddings as well as several other paying jobs. Grace is in her senior year of High School and is working hard to finish up her course work. Besides working her business and working on school, she is again participating in Speech and Debate and is the President of our local club. Our first tournament is right around the corner so she is feverously working on her new speeches for this year. This past December Grace turned 18 and is looking forward to voting in the upcoming elections. The Mediterranean turned out to be a perfect place to take lots of pictures! (Imagine that!) You can see them on her blog: gracefulview.blogspot.com. Her road is as busy as a city street at rush hour, but she seems to enjoy it!

The Almost Driver is just about to get her learner’s permit, and she can hardly wait. One reason is that Leah already has a car! God led her on a path, years ago, to the door of an elderly gentleman, a German immigrant named Mr. Scheffrahn, with whom she developed an incredibly close bond. The whole story is way too long for this letter, but amazingly, in October when he stopped driving, he gave her his car. Sadly, he died this year, but Leah is writing a speech about his amazing life and will use it in Speech and Debate. She will also be debating, which will hopefully be a good channel for her many opinions! Leah studied hard this summer and passed her second CLEP test. Her trip to the Mediterranean not only scratched her traveling itch, but it may have ultimately made it worse! So it will be interesting to see what other roads she embarks on in the future.

The ‘Tween is at the fascinating crossroads of girlhood and womanhood. Hannah is growing up every day, if not as much in height, at least in maturity. But she also has retained the joys of childhood and we hope she won’t rush out of them too soon. She loves to organize and is the first child of our family who has ever been told, “Please stop cleaning and go do school!” She has made some great strides academically this year, and while she has to work extra hard learn things, she is willing to push through and do so. Hannah is also anticipating her big 13^th birthday celebration this coming spring. She will be taking to the highway with us this year as she starts her first year of Speech and Debate competition which should be a perfect match for her well-developed dramatic abilities.

The Dancer has officially gone from being a living room dancer to an official studio dancer. Abigail began tap and ballet this fall and absolutely loves it. She has caught on quickly and can hardly get enough of it. She also loves her piano and continues to take lessons from Grammy. She likes school, most of the time, and usually finds it easy. She is a voracious reader and right now is devouring the old “Happy Hollister” series, a series Susan loved as a child. Abby still loves elephants the most, she still doesn’t like to sleep by herself, she still daydreams and keeps herself entertained for hours….…so we all keep hoping she might just stay a little girl. But alas, the signs are on the horizon that she will also travel the road to adulthood…just like all the rest.

He has told you, O man, what is good and what does the LORD require of you

but to do justice, to love kindness, and to walk humbly with your God? Micah 6:8

Well, there is a quick overview of our roads, paths, highways, and by-ways. God has been so faithful to our family on the many avenues He has allowed us to travel. Our goal has been to walk them, whether they have been easy or difficult, in faithfulness and in obedience to Him. And while we have sometimes succeeded and have sometimes failed, He has never failed. He has never failed to light the way, to come along side, and to carry us when necessary.

We pray His blessing, favor, and care will cover you on whatever road you find yourself on this year.

We can proclaim from experience: He Is Faithful!

~Nathan, Susan, Caleb, Luke, Aaron, Grace, Leah, Hannah, and Abigail

When Do You Feel God's Pleasure?

2012-02-02T19:51:00.000-08:00

We are watching "Chariots of Fire".

What a movie. The music just does something to me every time I hear it. It makes me want to go run. Fast.

Of course, I can't run fast. I am not exactly an athletic runner. I feel like I am accomplishing something if I break out of a trot. Maybe I should put the "Chariots of Fire" theme song on my ipod, put in my ear buds, and then close my eyes so I can't see what I actually look like running.

The hero of the movie, of course, is Eric Liddell. His brother tells him, "What we want is a muscular Christian." And that is what Eric is. A muscular Christian.

As Eric is trying to decide between running and returning to China his father says, "You can praise the Lord peeling a spud, if you peel it to perfection. Run in God's name, and let the world stand back in wonder."

That is the point.
It is not the WHAT you are doing.
Rather, it is the WHO that you are doing it for!

Which is the point Eric is trying to explain to his sister in the movie. He is trying to communicate to her why he NEEDS to run when she views his running as getting in the way of his ministry. He says, "I believe God made me for a purpose- for China. But He also made me fast. And when I run, I feel His pleasure. To give it up would be to hold Him in contempt. To win is to honor Him."

And all that made me wonder:

am I a muscular Christian?
am I praising the Lord when I am peeling a spud or folding the laundry or making my bed?
am I living in the purpose that God made me for?
when do I feel His pleasure?

And that is the most important question of all: When do I feel His pleasure?

When do you?

I suggest we both find out and then do THAT with all our heart!

It is STILL Not MY Time!

2012-01-27T21:03:00.000-08:00

The coats were on.

The car was loaded.

Departure time was T-3 minutes.

If we hurried we wouldn’t be late.

IF we hurried. IF…

But if we DIDN’T hurry. Then we would NOT be on time.

And Not Be On Time = Late!

I don’t like late.

And I have trained my girls to not like late.

So one sister told the other sister, “RUN and turn off the lights. Be careful- don’t trip!”

The little sister did the run part really well. But she never got to the lights to turn them off, because the “don’t trip” part.....yeah, she didn’t do that part so well.

I was rushing around the house trying to "Not Be Late" when I was brought short by The Cry. Every Mom knows THE cry. It is not the same as the, “Ouch that sort of hurts and annoys me” cry. No. THE cry immediately notifies the Mom: “Run to your child. NOW.”

As I ran out outside, I saw my child lying on the front porch clutching her wrist. And I immediately knew that I would Most Definitely Be Late. Really late. Not that I cared about being on time any more. Because when something major happens it makes you realize how minor the minor thing is that you were majoring on.

I realized ONE MORE TIME that amazing truth: My Time Is Not My Own!

So here is a rerun blog post from when I learned this lesson last year. (I have to post a rerun because it takes lots of time to fix broken appendages!) Why do I keep learning the same lesson over and over and over? Oh well. Maybe I will REALLY learn it this time!

I brought my older girls to Abilene, TX for a Speech and Debate Tournament.

I planned it all out very carefully. Where we would be, where the ones left at home would be, who would be caring for the little ones when my husband wasn't available...I always plan stuff out carefully.

After many years of juggling varied and numerous events, sports, classes, banquets, parties, etc., my logistical abilities surprise even me. Give me nine people, four drivers, and eight requirements, and I can make it happen.

However all this planning can make me feel like I am in charge, and that is rarely a good thing. It makes me feel like it is "my" time, "my" schedule, "my" plan.

So back to Abilene.

I knew I was in trouble when I woke up Wednesday morning, the scheduled morning for departure. I felt bad. Really bad. I initially wrote it off to the inundation of oak pollen that has besieged us. Our cars are covered with yellow pollen and I can only imagine what our lungs look like. So anyway, it seemed perfectly logical that the pollen was the culprit in my feeling like a old, forgotten, wet dish rag (a perfect visual for all you Moms out there). I, not to be one to be defeated by yellow dust, drug myself around, packed, and tried to get out the door.

I "managed" but I kept feeling worse and worse and worse. When I had a fever Thursday morning I knew I was in trouble. So I dropped my girls off at the Tournament and then worked on getting through my insurance hoops so I could get to a doctor. I kept praying and praying for direction about what to do and where to go, but I have to be honest, I wasn't feeling or hearing a lot of direction from the Lord. I didn't know why, but I just wasn't.

I will not bore you with the long version of this story. Let's just say that there were lots of starts and stops and unsuccessful attempts and FINALLY after many hours and several bad experiences, I finally had a diagnosis and I am now on antibiotics and feeling much better.

But, and well I am ashamed to admit it, but I really pretty much complained to the Lord. He could have helped me not get sick, or got me to the right doctor first time around, or just directed me better. I mean didn't He know I had plans and had a job to do at the tournament and I didn't want to WASTE TIME.

Ahhh......there is the real crux of the problem. I hate waste. And I hate wasting my time more that all the other wastes.

But is it ever really MY time in the first place? Or, rather, aren't I just a steward of it, just like all the other assets God allows in my life: like finances, talents, people, opportunities?

Maybe my hatred of time-wasting comes from the fact that I never feel like I have enough of it. Every time I choose to spend my time on one thing, I am choosing to not spend it on something else- or rather SOMETHINGS. Because, there is always more than one thing I need to ignore in order to do what seems the most urgent or necessary or important at the moment.

So, back to my sickness, I wanted God to tell me where to go and what to do so that it would happen quickly and efficiently and I could get back to what I needed (or thought I needed) to do. But God didn't do that. Maybe He didn't direct me because He wants me to learn this lesson, this very, very hard lesson for me.

This is the lesson: God doesn't NEED me to do anything. He just wants me to walk through what comes my way in faith and trust and reliance on Him. It is HIS time and HIS plan and HIS way that is important. Not mine.

So if He allows sickness to come, I just need to walk, or maybe sleep, through it. It is what He allowed.

It came down through His hand of grace and is for HIS purpose.

My time is not my own.

My time is His time....to use as He pleases.

HIS time.

I Can't See!

2012-01-19T18:15:00.000-08:00

There are big decisions on my horizon.

What to do? What to do?

The answer is, I am not sure. That is the problem.

I have been praying. A lot. And I have been wishing for a Daniel 5 sort of moment. You know one of those moments where some big fingers appear and begin to write the answer on the wall. Because I am willing to do whatever God wants in this (Whatever Lord!), I am just not sure what that is.

It is easy to decide what you should do or not do when you know you really SHOULDN'T do what you want to do. There is no need for wall writing on those moments. Just obedience...that is all that is needed then.

But what about when you are deciding about a good thing? What about when the "yes" as well as the "no" has just as much possibility of being God's will?

What do you do when you feel like you have following God's will and then suddenly the light goes out and the way just seems very, very dark? When the next step seems uncertain?

I was thinking about that this morning, and praying about my decisions, and not feeling or seeing the answer, and then the answer came in an unexpected way and was an unexpected answer. The way really shouldn't have been unexpected because I found it in Oswald Chambers this morning...

...sidenote here: I love Oswald Chambers so much he has appeared on this blog quite a few times before:

...so, yes, I do love him and I should not have been surprised when God used his writings to answer me!

...back to this morning and my hard decisions and my resounding silence to my prayers. This is what Oswald writes:

"When God gives a vision and darkness follows, wait. God will make you in accordance with the vision He has given if you will wait for His time. Never try and help God fulfill His word. Abraham went through thirteen years of silence, but in those years all self-sufficiency was destroyed; there was no possibility left of relying on common-sense ways. Those years of silence were a time of discipline, not of displeasure."

"Um, Lord? You mean the silence is a part of Your plan?"
"You mean You want me to trust You when there is No Answer?!"
"You mean You want me to believe You in the DARK?

Yep. I think so.

Maybe that is why Hebrews defines faith as "the substance of things hoped for, the evidence of things not seen!"

So where do I go to get the light for my next step?

I suppose I should go the only place that promises to be "a light unto my step" (that would be the Bible, by the way) and see what God says about the Next. Step.

That is all I really need.

Just light for the next step.

So that is where I will go.

And then I will wait, in the silence, for as long as it lasts.. and. trust. Him.

The To Do List vs. The Mom

2012-01-12T20:39:00.000-08:00

All the experts will tell...

make a list
write it down
prioritize your tasks
do the most important first

Ahhh. The dreaded To Do list. (there really needs to be a background of ominous music here.)

I am, quite frankly, a recovering To-Do-List-Aholic. I have been running around with yellow legal pads dragging behind me for decades. I have of course in the recent years modernized to more electronic means and have been using my phone and my computer.

So, I like the list thing.

Except for when I hate the list thing.

What I like:

organizes my wandering brain
bolsters my fading memory
constricts my distracted attention

What I hate:

that at the end of a very busy day full of activity, ministry, prayer, and mothering I can look at that wonderful, prioritized To Do list and be unable to scratch a single thing off.
Because in all of that busyness, I never got around to a single thing on that dreaded list.

Because life for a Mom- especially one that is full of people and their issues- is not willing to either be organized or constricted by my list.

No, my list will not bend to my life. Rather my list more often than not gets trampled by my life.

For so many years I would feel so defeated by one of THOSE days- one where my long beautiful list had NOTHING scratched off. But then...

VICTORY!

Now I have victory over (or maybe in) my defeat.

Instead of feeling defeated by the lack of To Do's that are actually done, I simply write down what I did....AND CROSS IT OFF.

Tricky, I know. But very effective!

I can see the long list of what I did and I can see those lovely lines marking through them and announcing, "Done! Look at all you have done!"

THE SECRET

Write down EVERYTHING. Everything you actually have done.

Like what you ask? Well, depends on the day. But here is a sample:

~~wiped tears and bandaged a knee~~
~~cleaned up spill~~
~~cleaned up another spill~~
~~prayed for patience~~
~~cleaned. up. ANOTHER. spill~~
~~changed clothes after baby spit up on me~~
~~disciplined child~~
~~prayed~~
~~disciplined again~~
~~again~~
~~cried~~
~~got gum out of hair~~
~~cried again~~
~~prayed again~~

These are not the sort of things that would go on the list at the beginning of the day.

But they may be the exact things that were The Most Important things for you as a Mom to do that day.

So be encouraged!

And write your list!

And draw lines through what you have done.

And look at all you have done with pride.

And here is another use for that list.

At the end of the day, when your husband asks you, "Honey, what did you do today?"...and you look at him with a blank look because you can't actually remember one specific thing you did to explain why you are so tired....you take one look at your list and....voila!....you will be able to answer him!

Standing Ovations of Gratitude

2012-01-08T21:09:00.000-08:00

Last night we saw "Les Miserables" on stage. Now I love musicals, but this is my favoritest of all my favorite musicals. I LOVE it with great passion. It brings me to tears. It thrills my soul. It inspires me. It is a story of failure, of judgement, of grace, of redemption, of love, of sacrifice. Ahhhh, I feel a song coming on. I may just have to start singing "I Dreamed a Dream."

This was my third time to see it on stage, and I have loved it every time. But for some reason this time connected with me very deeply. The singers were incredible. (I have a secret desire to play Eponine and be able to hit all the notes. In reality I can only hit about three of them, but a girl can dream.)

Apparently in that theater I was not the only one who loved the production because at the end of the show the applause was uproarious.

Now, side-note here. I usually like to duck out of places early. I have a genetic disability that produces intense hatred of waiting in line. Really. I think there is a syndrome name to this malady. I am not impatient. It is a Medical. Issue.

But last night. Awwww......last night I didn't care. I had to stay and applaud and applaud and applaud (and whoop and holler too). I needed those actors and actresses to know how very touched I was by their performance. I was willing to be stuck in the line, you know, the one that moves like molasses to get out of the theater. Yes, I would do that just to applaud some more.

And the faces of the cast on stage showed their appreciation. They had given their best. They had sung their hearts out. They absolutely beamed with joy as the theater shook with the unbridled enthusiasm of the audience.

It made me happy.

But on the way home, because I can't just leave things alone and enjoy the moment, I began wondering why it gave me such joy to share in that ovation. And I began to see a picture.

God is the Great Playwrite.
He is the Master Director.
He is the Expert Storyteller.
He is The Virtuoso.

He causes the morning stars to sing. (Job 38:7)
He has fixed the stories of the times and epochs. (Acts 1:7)
He causes all things to work together for good. (Rom. 8:28)
His word (His lyrics) are more beautiful and valuable than gold. (Ps. 19:10)

And most amazing of all, He became flesh, and completed the Story He had been writing from the beginning of time. (Jn 1:14)

And I was struck. How often have I given God a standing ovation?

How often have I just basked in the glory of the appreciation of His amazing work?

How often have I communicated unrestrained joy at the gift of the beauty He has given?

How often has my appreciation spilled out of my heart and run down with the tears on my face?

The answer? A few times.

A few times? When everyday I am surrounded by the amazing Story of His Love and His Work and His Beauty and His Creation? What is wrong with me?

EVERY DAY I should be giving Him a standing ovation.

And in reality, that is what gratitude is.
Gratitude is basking in the remarkable work and undeserved gift of the Story He is allowing me to participate in.
Gratitude is recognizing how magnificent is His work and how excellent is His ways.
Gratitude is not just knowing that His work is magnificent and His ways are excellent, but is taking the time to express those things.

So this year....2012....I want to practice gratitude. And not for the stuff in my life.
Just gratitude for the most amazing musical I have every seen...God's Story!

What's Your Excuse?

2012-01-05T12:50:00.000-08:00

Note: This is not our little friend. But the picture of
this girl's face expresses exactly how I often feel.

We have a precocious little friend of about 4 years of age who has a fascinating way of answering a command when she is told to do something she doesn't want to do.

After the first instruction (and it doesn't really matter what the Thing is that she didn't want to do, because the next time that Thing will change, but the response stays the same!) she answers:

I cold!

Again she is instructed to do the undesired action and she responds:

I hungry!

Now, all this time you really need to be imagining a very melodramatic emotion behind those words. And when the instruction is again repeated, please picture the melodrama ratcheting up substantially as she exclaims:

I very sleepy!

The funniest thing about these responses is that they have absolutely NOTHING whatever to do with her instructions. She is just looking for anything she has ever heard of as a reason to NOT do what she was supposed to do.

Silly girl. So glad I don't act like that.

My Turn
But then again, maybe I do act like that. In fact, I sounded a lot like this four year old just earlier this week. God was telling me something He wanted me to do. Something I didn't want to do and I was throwing out every excuse in the book.

The problem was that He was instructing me to apologize for something that I did, and my pride was not hearing of it. The other person in the equation could start out the apologizing, thank you very much. I must have had the same whinny, melodramatic voice as as our little friend when I answered my Lord:

I was perfectly justified because of what was done to me! (Translation: I cold!)

And then the Lord again instructed me to apologize, reminding me that "If it is possible, as far as it depends on you, be a peace with all men." (Rom. 12:18.) I responded:

It is his turn to apologize! (Translation: I hungry!)

I have to admit here that my resistance was beginning to wane. I have walked with the Lord long enough to know when I am beat. I really, really do want Him to have His way in me, which means I really, really do need to obey and follow Him. But even WITH that my prideful resistance stubbornly hung on as I was faced with the perfect opportunity to apologize, but instead of apologizing I exclaimed:

I don't WANT to! (Translation: I very sleepy!)

Once more, my gentle, loving Abba nudged me. I knew I was beat.
I had to obey.
I had to bend my knee.
I had to follow my Savior in dying to myself.
I had to do what was right because it was right, no matter what was or wasn't said by anyone else.

So I did it.
I apologized. Rather poorly. It sounded half-hearted even to me. But I did it.

And God met me there.
With His grace.
And His forgiveness.

And my excuses sound pretty feeble and ridiculous on this side of the equation.

What is God telling you to do?
What is your excuse?

Take it from me. Dump the excuses and JUST DO IT! It will save a lot of time!

2012- Loving God More

2012-01-01T19:48:00.000-08:00

The first day of the year....January 1st. The day I am always tempted to make Resolutions.

Again.

Maybe this will be the year I will exercise more.
Or it will be the year I will eat better.
Maybe finally I will get around to finishing the half-started craft projects stashed away in the closet.
Could it be that this will be the year I finally get that book written. Or started. Or whatever.

But the last few years I have avoided making those kinds of resolutions.

You know, the kind that last for three weeks before getting tossed into the pile of good intentions. Instead I have, for the last few years, come up with more of a theme or focus for the year.

Not measurable.
Not something that can be broken down into small, attainable steps.
Not exactly what the "experts" would recommend.

Not normal (like me!)

In 2010 my theme was abiding in Christ...like ALL the time! Not just on Sundays or in my quiet times or when people were watching. But all the time. Living, breathing, eating, resting in my Savior. I can't say I always succeeded, but having that as my goal sustained me through some of the darkest roads I have ever traveled.

In 2011 my theme was the Year of Now. Praying Now. Living Now. Abiding Now. Doing Now. I can't say that I succeeded at this one either. There were many times I avoided the Now. I put off difficult things and steered clear of others. But because this was my theme I put off less than I would have otherwise!

2012
So what about this year?

What will be my theme this year? Besides still trying to abide in Christ and still trying to do it now?

Yes, once again I am going to add another theme. But this time it is almost more of a paradigm shift.

My focus this year is that, no matter WHAT is in front of me, whether physical or relational or professional or experiential or WHATEVER.....I want to love God more.

No matter what.

Especially more than myself. Especially more than my ideas. Especially more than my pet projects. Especially more than my expectations. Especially more than my rights.

More than everything. More than anything. Just more.

I want to love God more than everything and the most of anything else.

I want to live:
"Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind." -Matt. 22:37

Happy New Year. And, I will let you know how it goes.

The Greatest News of All

2011-12-23T06:30:00.000-08:00

It is beginning to look a lot like Christmas. (Sort of makes you want to start singing, doesn't it?)

The tree is lit. The packages are wrapped. The cards are coming. The food is piled up. The plans for the holiday are laid.

Sigh. I really love Christmas.

In the midst of the season this year, I have decided I have a new favorite Christmas verse. No it is not in Luke 2, although I love Luke 2. I love "The Charlie Brown Christmas" when Linus recites it. I love reading Luke 2 on Christmas Day. But that is not my favorite this year.

And my favorite Christmas verse is not found in any of the Gospels. My favorite Christmas verse is found in Philippians.

"...although He existed in the form of God, (He) did not regard equality with God a thing to be grasped, but emptied Himself, taking the form of a bond-servant, and being made in the likeness of man...humbled Himself by becoming obedient to the point of death, even death on the cross." ~Philippians 2:6-8

Just think of the implications of that verse. Just think of what it reveals about the Savior of the world. Just think of how much He must love us to have given up so much, to have humbled Himself so greatly, and to have obeyed the Father to the point of death.

Jesus- who is King of Kings....humbled Himself to be born to a simple teenage girl.

Jesus- who created every animal....humbled Himself to being born in an animal's stable.

Jesus- who is the Bread of Life....humbled himself to needing to be feed by His own creation.

Jesus- the only One who can change us....humbled himself to needing to be changed.

Jesus- who reigns in the throne room of all creation....humbled Himself to be raised in a no-account village in a small, poor country that was ruled by a pagan empire.

Jesus- who could call Heaven down to His aid....humbled Himself to be chased from town as a baby to flee King Herod's attempted destruction.

Jesus- who is omniscient....humbled Himself to be taught by others.

Jesus- who was, and is, and is to come....humbled Himself for 33 years to be constrained by time- to have to get up in the morning, go to bed at night, to live with a clock, and to feel tired.

Jesus- who is Ruler of all creation....became Servant of All and showed it by getting on His hands and knees and washing His disciples feet.

Jesus- who is the Word....humbled Himself to be in a position to have His words misconstrued, twisted, and used against Him.

Jesus- who is the Judge of the Universe....humbled Himself to being brought before a pagan judge and offered no defense.

Jesus- who has legions of angels at His command....humbled Himself to be arrested in the night, drug through town, falsely accused, beaten, mistreated, stripped, abused, mocked and ultimately crucified.

Jesus- who is Love....humbled Himself to be subjected to lies, insults, plots, abuse, and finally an unjust punishment...death on the cross.

I love Christmas.

And I love manger scenes.

Because they are the picture of the moment of Love Come Down.
Of God taking flesh and dwelling among us.
Of the greatest love imaginable.

But this Christmas, don't forget the point of the manger.

The point of the manger is the cross!

And the point of the manger is the love and forgiveness your Creator God has for you!

He loves you and me so much HE HUMBLED HIMSELF AND TOOK ON FLESH!

That is the greatest news of all!

And to go with my new favorite Christmas verse, here is my new favorite Christmas song. Hope you enjoy it....and MERRY CHRISTMAS!

Nothing Is Impossible With God!

2011-12-20T08:14:00.000-08:00

With the coming of Christmas trees, and the appearance of nativities, and the singing of carols, it has been natural that I have Christmas on the mind. The fact that the holiday is just a few days away and I am not done with my shopping, has also put it on my mind!

I diligently make the effort each year, however, to concentrate on the WHOM of Christmas and not the what. But really, this year, the one who has been on my mind the most is not the One. But the One's mother.

I have been thinking about Mary.

I have been picturing the innocent, young girl who was on the precipice of her life: she was betrothed and would soon begin her own home and her own family....just like everyone else did. Just like she was supposed to.

But then God came and told her that what was impossible was exactly what was going to happen. And when it did, it would turn her whole world upside down.

The Faith of a Mom
I think I have been thinking about Mary in a little different light than ever before.

I have been considering what I can learn from her as a Mom.

I have never been faced with the kind of impossibility that Mary was, but as a Mom I am called to some impossible things as well.

Like when I am called to:

patience when I am intensely frustrated
faith when circumstances seem disastrous
silence when I have the perfect thing to say
prayer when I what I really want to do is "fix" everything
long-suffering when I am hurt or wronged, or even worse when one of my children is hurt or wronged
trust that God loves and cares for my children ENOUGH to take care of them, even when I can't or shouldn't
hope....no matter what anything looks like, no matter what my children are doing or not doing, no matter how things seem to be developing,.....a hope that is in God and not in myself nor any other human

Mothering is Impossible

I don't think I understood that mothering, like God calls me to mother, is actually impossible. At least without Him. It is the most impossible thing in the world. For everybody.

Because it involves pouring your life and heart into people that you love more than any other thing with a heartbeat (except, hopefully, the one who made those children with you!). And you love them and train them and clean them and scold them and feed them and tickle them and read to them and pray for them and lead them to the feet of their Savior. And all without any guarantees on the return of your investment. But that is not the impossible part.

The impossible part is that they are individual, willful, cognizant humans who choose, in the end, what to do, what to believe, how to behave, who to marry, what to retain, what to throw away, and who will, someday, stand alone before their God. And you no longer, at that time, can stand in the gap for them.

Mothering is a lot like taking your heart out of your body, laying it on the table, and inviting your family to take all they need.

Now, don't get me wrong, I think mothering is one of the greatest and most fulfilling callings that exist. It is the reason I am most glad that I am female. But having said that, I can also say.....

.....it is impossible.

And so the angel speaks:

Most likely Mary was feeling like what the angel told her was impossible. And she would have been right. For her to bring forth a child when she had never known a man WAS impossible.

But the angel speaks:

"And behold, even your relative Elizabeth has also conceived a son in her old age (another impossible thing, by the way); and she who was called barren is now in her sixth month. For NOTHING WILL BE IMPOSSIBLE WITH GOD." ~ Luke 1:36,37

So the impossible happens. With God.
Life can be conceived.
Barrenness can be defeated.
The Word can enter the world.
The Sacred can be made flesh.
The Holy can interface with the sinful.

And Love can overcome all that is impossible.

Mary's Response
Mary's reply to the angel, in Luke 2:38, is one of my favorite in all of Scripture:

"Behold, the bondslave of the Lord; be it done to me according to your word."

That is the response I want to have: to whatever God tells me to do, or to whatever God allots or allows in my life, or whatever impossible thing that God calls me to in the life.

WHATEVER LORD! That is why I named the blog Whatever Lord!

Because whatever it is, no matter HOW impossible, I want to say: be it done to me according to your word.

So for Christmas this year, I want to concentrate not on the packages, bows, menus, cards, parties, ....and on and on and on. Instead I want to LEARN from Christmas and the young girl who laid down her life to God's will.

Yes, Mothering is impossible...without Jesus. And so is most everything else that matters.

And that is why this year I want to concentrate on Emmanuel: God with us!
With us in the impossible.
With us in our parenting.
With us in our marriages.
With us in our jobs.
With us, with us, with us.

What seems impossible to you this Christmas?
Remember, because of the Impossible that occurred in Mary, and was born in a manger, God is with you in the midst of your impossible.

Where To Take Your Problems!

2011-12-16T08:40:00.000-08:00

What is Your Problem?
Problems often feel like knots. Knots are difficult to untie. Because they are...um....knots.

It can be very hard to figure out where to even begin to unravel the knot. But it is important to figure that out, because if you pull on the wrong thing you can actually make the knot worse. You can end up tightening the knot rather than loosening it.

And problems are usually the same way. We could start doing things thinking we are solving things, when in all reality we are making things worse.

The Story:
"MOM!!!", I hear the child's voice calling from the other side of the house.

All Moms know that tone. It is the "I have a problem and I know just the go-to lady who can fix it" tone. The great thing about being a Mom is the there is no job description available that could encompass all the issues you get to interface with on a day to day basis.

My little girl finds me in my room and brings me her necklace. It is a mess. It is in knots. And knots. And knots. In fact, it is in so many knots, it looks like it may be impossible to ever NOT be in knots.

But she hands it to me in complete confidence and looks me in the eye with total trust that I can and will fix her problem. Yikes! That is a lot of pressure!

And, thankfully, this time at least, I live up to her expectation. After many attempts and the use of a magnifying glass (these old eyes ain't what they used to be!) I succeed in unraveling the rascally, knotty knot.

The Point:
Yes, there actually is a point. And it is this.

Where do we take our problems?

Yes, I realize that this is a question and not a point, but it leads to the point. And yes, this IS a rhetorical question. You ARE supposed to go with the obvious answer...GOD! Our Heavenly Father! The One who created and loves us. He is whom we go to with our problems.

Then the follow-on question is: when we go to Him, do we go with faith, hope, and trust that He CAN and WILL solve the problem?!?! Whatever it is? Do we have the expectation that He is our "go-to" for our problem because Of Course He can work it out?

Oswald Chambers said:

"any problem, and there are many, that is alongside me while I obey God increases my ecstatic delight because I know that my Father knows, and I am going to watch and see how He unravels this thing."

There it is.

Complete trust. Complete confidence. Complete LACK of fear or worry.

And therefore Complete JOY!

The Question?
Where do you go with your problems?

Who do you trust implicitly with finding the solution?

Who is the great Unraveler of all your knots?

The Answer:
Not you.
Not your boss.
Not your spouse.
Not your circumstances.
Not your checkbook.
Nope. Nauta. Nein. Nyet. None of those.

It is God. Always. Only. Alone.

It is God.

"Thank God for Persecution!"

2011-12-12T07:55:00.000-08:00

Last night I got to go see "Fiddler on the Roof" at our theater.

Note to all gentleman- my husband got me

season tickets to the theater for my birthday.

Best. Present. Ever.

Just wanted to share that little idea, in case you

were stumped with what to get your wife this year.

Okay- back to the story.

I love musicals, and out of all musicals "Fiddler" is way up at the top. I love the family. I love the Jewish history. I love how Tevye is always talking to God. I love the music. In fact, I was very proud of myself last night when I didn't just burst out into song every time they began singing on stage- because I do know all the words after all!

During intermission after I got back from the bathroom....

I have the "bathroom strategy" down pat. We sit toward the

back of our theater, so AS SOON AS the curtain begins to

move for the Intermission, I hurdle over the people on the

aisle, walk VERY quickly past the ambling women, and

Get In Line at the bathroom. By the time I come out, the line

stretches all the to the lobby. Successful bathroom strategy

is an important part of a good evening at the theater!

Okay- back to the story.....again...

...when I got back, my husband, who talks to people wherever we are, had of course fallen into conversation with the people we were sitting by. We talked through intermission about all sorts of things, and in the course of the chatting we realized they were Jewish (they told us that during the Sabbath scene they were doing the wrong prayer over the candles!) Anyway, we had a lovely conversation, and sort of kept chatting during the second half. They were like us, just twenty years older, but they liked to evaluate the production while it was going on!

At the end of the play, the Russian soldiers come and order all the Jews out of the village- just because they are Jewish. Even though I know it is coming, it always makes me mad. Injustice and prejudice always make me mad.

But in the play, although they are sad, the Jewish peasants put the best face on it, pack up, and move on. With their Traditions! And with each other.

As we are clapping with the curtain coming down, my new friend in the seat next to me rocked my world by saying,

"Thank God for persecution!"

As I stared at her, quesitoningly, she continued.

"In 1917, when my grandmother was 15, she and her family were run out of Kiev. They burned her father's store down, and so they left Kiev and came to the United States. THANK GOD for persecution!"

What an amazing viewpoint.

Just think. She could have grown up in communist Russia if her family had stayed there. Or she may have never been born at all since Stalin ruthlessly murdered millions of Jews.

And so, instead of being angry, she saw the bigger picture. What had been heartbreak and loss for her ancestors, had been great gain for the generations to come.

This will be written for the generation to come;That a people yet to be created may praise the Lord. For He looked down from His holy height; From heaven the Lord gazed upon the earth, To hear the groaning of the prisoner; To set free those who were doomed to death; That men may tell of the name of the Lord in Zion, And His praise in Jerusalem. Ps. 102:18-21

And her story made me wonder.

What is going on in my life now that seems unfair or difficult or horrible or destructive?

Is it possible that those very things are occurring in order to drive me some place that I wouldn't otherwise go?

Is it possible that their purpose is a result or conclusion that I may never see, but that the generations to come may be grateful for?

Is it possible that I can TRUST God in the most difficult of circumstances, rest in His arms, and believe that He really can take care of me?

Yes. Yes, it is possible.

So, I repeat the words of my seatmate:

Thank God for persecution!

Is there something really difficult going on in your life? Maybe that is the very thing that the generations to come will praise God for!

What do you need to thank God for today?

To Life!

"The Girls"

2011-12-08T08:27:00.000-08:00

As I groaned and turned over to meet my morning I woke up face to face with "The Girls".

I have a lot of girls in my head. And quite frankly some of them are much better behaved than others.

The ones who greeted me this morning are not my favorite:

Rhonda Rollover: encouraging me to just pull the covers over your head
Mrs. To-Do: jostling with Rhonda Rollover and trying to loudly tell me all there was to do
Paula Procrastination: trying to talk over Mrs. To-Do to explain why it could all be done tomorrow
Miss Worry Wart: wringing her hands as she looks at the To-Do list and reminding me of several other impending disasters that REQUIRE my emotional energy
Sarah Storm Cloud: giving off dire predictions of failure

It is hard to rouse myself out of bed when that is the crowd greeting me. I begin to wonder if Rhonda Rollover doesn't have the right idea.

When I wake up face to face with my weaknesses and fears it is easy to despair of making it through the day. On those days, my weaknesses are certainly loud and in my face and rather convincing to my spirit that I really cannot "do" this....this....this...whatever.

This day.
This task.
This busyness.
This challenge.
This.
This.
This.

But as all "The Girls" were trying to make their own case about what was wrong with me and why this day was not going to go so well, there was another Voice. A Still Small Voice.

by Grace Macias

And It was saying:

My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness."

2 Corinthians 12:9

He didn't tell me to be strong on my own. He didn't tell me to pull up my boot straps and get going. He didn't tell me to get over it. He didn't deride me for being tired. He didn't parade the needs of the days in front of my eyes.

Instead, He simply and profoundly offered His grace and assured me it was sufficient. Enough. All that I needed.

Then suddenly, all of the girls vanished. And in their places was my Savior, with His hand outstretched, and His grace waiting to impower me. And in place of the screaming needs of the day were doors. Each need was a door. An entrance to the grace and the power of God.

Each need was really an entrance for Jesus to come into my life in a new and fresh way.

So, and even more in this advent season, I say, "Come Lord Jesus, Come!"

Behold, I stand at the door and knock; if anyone hears My voice and opens the door, I will come in to him and dine with him, and he with Me. ~ Revelations 3:20

Where is My Confidence?

2011-12-03T07:44:00.000-08:00

What do I put my confidence in?

This is an important question, because what and where I put my confidence in is what I rely upon. It is what I turn to in time of trouble. It is what gives me my security. It is what I constantly check on and tend to. It is what I protect and value. Because the STATUS of what I rely upon determines the LEVEL of my confidence.

Or in other words, it determines how confident am I in what I put my confidence in.

That confusing sentence actually makes sense because most of the things I am tempted to put my confidence in are fragile and changeable and dependent upon either my actions or the actions of others. And let’s be honest, both my actions and other’s actions are pretty flimsy and unreliable places to rest.

In Philippians 3:3 Paul states that he “puts no confidence in the flesh.” And then in the next three verses he lists all the things he could put his confidence in, if he DID rely upon the flesh. He lists all the places of his own actions where he could put his trust in….if he wanted. And it is a pretty impressive list.

My list looks significantly different that Paul’s. Paul had both a stellar Jewish pedigree and vocation. I am not a Hebrew or a Pharisee. I have never really been very good at keeping the Law. I view Speed Limits as suggestions to people who don’t drive well.

My list is more earthy. My “confidence temptation list” consists of bank accounts and academic achievements and my children’s academic (or business or social or personal) achievements and completed To Do lists and stock portfolios and zero balances on the credit card and a clean, organized house.

I have a rather interesting list of financial security and personal achievement on my “List”, don’t I? I guess because if I have enough money I feel secure and if everyone (including myself) is doing well I feel successful.

But I don't think God wants me to feel secure or successful in anything or anyone but Himself!

One of the ways I KNOW that I know that God is at work in my life is that He has pretty much been taking every single thing that I am tempted to put my confidence in and He has been actively “shaking it up” and turning it upside-down. It is pretty hard to put your confidence in ANYTHING that is upside-down!

I guess God shook up Paul’s “List” too, because in Phil 3:8 Paul states that he has “suffered the loss of all things, and count them as rubbish.”

Wow. How did Paul get to the place that rather than complaining and mourning his losses, he instead counted them as rubbish? If you get around to thinking of the "stuff" as rubbish you would be glad to get rid of it! It would be like getting the trash taken out!

He probably was able to have his view of his "confidence list" stuff changed because of what he previously told us in Phil. 3:7: “But what things were gain to me, these I have counted loss for Christ.”

What this means is that no matter how well or how poorly the things of Paul’s list were going….no matter ….compared to knowing Christ….they were a loss.

Phil 3:8: "Yet indeed I also count all things loss for the excellence of the knowledge of Christ Jesus my Lord.”

So if I am counting all the stuff as loss then it wouldn't matter how well or poorly something was going. Because compared to knowing Christ it is just all a bunch of trash in big black trash bags!

That means that no matter how much money is in the bank or how well my child did on the SAT or how perfect my house looks, compared to knowing Jesus it is like:

the bank closing, or
losing my job, or
the stock market crashing, or
the house burning down...with no insurance, or
failing out of college, or
the car being totaled, or....

I think you get the idea. Just think of the freedom of being released from the care and the concern and the tending and the management of the stuff. I could be free and COMPLETELY AVAILABLE to get to know my Lord more.

...forgetting those things which are behind and reaching forward to those things which are ahead. I press toward the goal for the prize of the upward call of God in Christ Jesus. ~Philippians 3:13,14

So today I choose to:

put no confidence in the flesh
count everything as loss
put it behind me
forget about what lies behind me
listen to the upward call
press forward
right into the arms of Jesus.

What I Am Thankful For

2011-11-28T20:15:00.000-08:00

I love Thanksgiving. The most.

No presents. Pretty colors. Family. And the best food of the year.

Sigh.

This is what our Thanksgiving buffet looked like. There were 42 of us: aunts, uncles, cousins, second-cousins. A friend looked at my daughter as she was describing the day and exclaimed, "You KNOW your SECOND cousins?!?!" Yes, with great gratitude I can say, not only do my kids know their second cousins, they actually like them. A lot.

I am thankful for many things, and I thought it might be good to record exactly what some of those things are:

I am thankful to have a husband who continues to show up, to forgive me, to ask me for forgiveness, who laughs with me, and likes me, and takes me out for dates, and sees me at my worst and loves me anyway.
I am thankful for the privilege of being a Mom. A privilege that involves effecting hearts and bearing burdens. And it is also the privilege of being encouraged, challenged, and convicted by the boldness and faith of my own children who often surpass me in their passion for the Lord.
I am thankful for enough. Enough food. Enough clothing. Enough water. Enough gas. Enough. Enough. Enough. Of everything I need.
I am thankful for a country where I can vote and go to church and disagree and stand up for what I believe in.
I am thankful for the mercy, grace, power, loving-kindness, justice, forgiveness, and protection of my Lord.

That really just scratches the surface.

I have so much to be thankful for. But I often forget to be thankful. To my shame.

So as I look forward to immersing myself in the joy of the Christmas season, I don't want to rush past the gratitude of the Thanksgiving season. Because it is so easy to digress into the "stuff" of Christmas gift giving and it is so easy to lose sight of and dismiss the appreciation of my great blessings.

So this week I am holding off on Christmas. Just for a week. Cause I am just not done being Thankful.

Praise the Lord! I will give thanks to the Lord with my whole heart. Ps. 111:1

Sowing in Tears...

2011-11-13T15:56:00.000-08:00

Today I had to take out my garden....because it looked like this:

This is what tomato plants look after a freeze. Lovely...

And like this:

A lot of those shriveled up green things that look like
dead leaves are actually serrano peppers.

That, my friends, is what happens when a garden that has been ravaged by extreme heat and drought all summer long meets up with a surprise freeze.

Surprise!

When I walked out the morning after the cold snap I thought I might cry.

I have to honestly evaluate my first year of gardening and admit it was a bust. A failure. A bomb. In the cost/benefit analysis equation, the cost far exceeded the benefit.

Although, there was this one benefit: I learned a lot about the Lord this summer. The garden was so chock-full of spiritual analogies I could hardly keep up.

I have always been intrigued by the verse in Psalm 126:5

"Those who sow in tears shall reap in joyful shouting."

The first part of the verse perfectly describes my summer. I did sow. And I did cry....well, at least on the inside. I could never seem to get ahead. I got my plants in late. And then there was a drought. If it wasn't the lack of water it was the heat. Or maybe my soil wasn't right. Or there was the time the deer ravaged my poor plants.

Yes, my sowing did involve tears. And then when the plants finally did grow there was no fruit.

And then finally, finally some rain came and the nights cooled off. And my tomato plants put on fruit. And....

And it froze. Sigh.

Here is the fruit that fell off as I was yanking those dead plants out of the ground:

So if I am going to take God at His word (and yes I AM going to take Him His word!) then my "reaping with joyful shouting" must have meant something other than reaping tomatoes!

What I didn't reap in fruit, I think I more than made up for in lessons learned. What did I learn from my garden this year? Well...

That I don't want to be a Christian that looks good on the outside, but that has no fruit.
That a lack of water has the same effect on plants that the lack of Living Water has on my soul.
That the potential for fruit is not the same thing as fruit.
That difficult conditions might result in a season where there is no visible gain.
That life and fruitfulness and harvest are precious gifts and require tender care.
That neglect results in death.
That I am not in charge and I can't control all my variables and sometimes I have to be faithful and try to do the right thing and just leave the results up to God.

Something else I learned....sometimes the harvest doesn't look like we wanted it to or expected it to.

Can I trust God enough THEN to joyfully shout anyway?

Can I trust Him enough to wait through the difficult times and WAIT for Him to bring the harvest?

Or do I have to have it now?

Maybe this was my training-wheel year of gardening. Maybe next year I can apply all I have learned this year and maybe the results will be different.

Maybe. But for now I need to soak in my lessons and apply them to some other "gardens" in my life- some that don't quite look like I want them to.

And maybe I need to trust God and shout joyfully and wait.

What is happening in your life that looks nothing like you wanted it to? Do you trust God enough to joyfully shout and then wait on Him to do what He will?

This is what my garden looks like now:

-laying fallow

-covered in ash to replenish the soil

-resting

-being quiet

-waiting.

Waiting through the winter.

Until the spring.

When I can plant again.

Does God have you waiting through a "winter" in your life?

Leave a comment and tell me about it- I would love to hear about it and pray for you.

Someday we WILL reap and when we do, we will bring in that harvest with joyful shouting together!

It's Time To Get Up!

2011-11-06T21:38:00.000-08:00

This weekend was my favorite night of the whole year: Fall Back!

The only time where I actually do get an extra hour to my day. I love that feeling- the feeling when I wake up, afraid maybe I slept in, and then worriedly looking at the clock only to see.....YAHOO! It isn't late! It is a WHOLE HOUR earlier than it feels! It. is. glorious.

I have never been a morning person. I now get up early because I am a grown-up and I have to. But that doesn't make me a morning person.

Here is the way to tell if someone you are with is a morning person or not. When they are up early, speak to them. Do they answer? If they do then it is possible they are a morning person. But if all you get is a grunt? Then you most definitely are not with a morning person. And if they glare at you? Then you have a grumpy morning person.

Non-morning people do not want to talk in the morning. At least not out loud. I like to talk to Jesus in the morning. And I like to read my Bible. And I LOVE to drink coffee. And I like to write in my journal. In the quiet. But people? Even the ones I love?

I think they have learned that it is better to let me have a little Jesus and a little coffee and THEN talk to me!

The whole morning/non-morning person thing should really be discussed before marriage. It is way more important than finding out if you neatly roll the toothpaste tube up from the bottom or if you squeeze it right in the middle of the tube. About a week into our marriage as my husband was whistling at a early AM hour, an hour where silence should reign, I had a crashing realization....I had married a morning person!

It is okay though. We have managed to navigate the morning waters for almost three decades, so I am here to tell you that the morning and non-morning people can peacefully co-exist!

The Problem
Why all this musings on mornings?

Well, I was thinking back this weekend to some mornings in my not too distant past. Maybe you have had these kind of mornings too. On these mornings it doesn't matter whether you were normally a morning person or not. Because these kinds of mornings are grey and wet and dreary---regardless of what the weather is outside. They are the kind where you don't want to get up, because when you do, you will have to face the day. And sometimes....

Sometimes life is like that. It is hard. It is arduous. It is painful.
Sometimes life just hauls off and punches you in the gut and you are totally unprepared.
Sometimes the rug is pulled out from underneath you and you find yourself sprawled on the floor.
Sometimes you go to sleep at night and hope that when you wake up tomorrow you will find out it was all just a bad dream.

But then you wake up.
And you realize it wasn't a bad dream.
And you have to get out of the bed and face it.
But you just don't want to.

Maybe you are waking up to:

shattered dreams
or a family in crisis
or a job you detest
or no money in the bank
or terminal illness
or just a life that has turned out so decidedly different than your dreams.

What do you do then?

The Cure

If I hadn't had any of those kinds of mornings I wouldn't have had to find the antidote.

But I have.
So I did.
Find the cure that is. And, what do you know. It was in the place all cures are.

The Word. First I will share the Scripture and then I will share the cure.

Lamentation 3:22: The Lord's loyal kindness never ceases; His compassions never end. They are fresh every morning; Your faithfulness is abundant!
Psalm 92:1-2: It is fitting to thank the Lord, and to sing praises to your name, O sovereign One! It is fitting to proclaim Your loyal love in the morning, and your faithfulness during the night.
Psalm 5:3: Lord, in the morning you will hear me; in the morning I will present my case to you and then wait expectantly for an answer.

The Prescription?

Realize as soon as I wake up that the Lord had fresh kindness and fresh compassion for me THIS VERY DAY.
Thank the Lord out loud for this day and proclaim to myself His loyal love.
Sing praises to my God.
Present to God my case...my issue...my problem...or just the fact that I don't really want to rise and face the day.
Get dressed (that one isn't in these Scriptures, but it is a very essential part of facing the day.)
Get going. And wait. Get going with whatever I can do but wait expectantly for God's answer to the problem.
Praise God that I don't have to solve anything. I just have to wait on Him to do it for me!

The Result

The result is that I get out of the bed and find God's kindness and compassion enough.

Enough to get me through the day.

Enough to enable me to thank Him and sing praises to Him.

Enough to empower me to walk through whatever the day brings.

Enough to wait. To wait on Him. To wait on Him for the answer- to whatever.

And that makes every morning a good morning.

Because it is a morning where, before I ever rise, I can receive my Lord's fresh kindness, put my hand in His Hand, and Get. Out. Of. Bed.

One may experience sorrow at night.

But joy arrives in the morning.

Ps. 30:5

"Life's a Stage"

2011-11-03T06:47:00.000-07:00

In the play, "As You Like It", William Shakespeare famously writes, "All the world is a stage, and all the men and women merely players."

But that quote is a rather sad and de-valuing explanation of our lives, don't you think? It takes the reality and life and sweat and blood out of our everyday existence and distills it down to us just flitting across a stage, acting our part, until the final curtain closes.

Boo.

But I have been drawn up lately by the thought that really our lives ARE a stage. Now, don't worry, I don't mean that in any of the way ole' Bill Shakespeare did.

Here is an example of what I mean:
In Philippians, Paul is writing to exhort the converts who reside in Philippi, and he is writing from a Roman jail, a jail he remains in for two years!

You know he might have felt a little upset at being waylaid from his missions. After all, Paul had a divine commission from the Lord! He had work to do! He had places to be and people to meet! What was he doing sitting around in a Roman prison for over two years?

So does he complain? Just listen to this:

"Now I want you to know, brethren, that my circumstances have turned out for the greater progress of the gospel so that my imprisonment in the cause of Christ has become well known throughout the whole praetorian guard and to everyone else,"

Philippians 1: 12,13

You mean he isn't upset? He isn't complaining? He isn't asking them to start a letter writing campaign to get him released?

The answer is "NO!" No, he isn't.

Because he sees his circumstances as just the back drop....the scenery....the props, if you will. The circumstances are simply part of the stage, the stage from which can be proclaimed the reality, the power, the wisdom, and the supernatural character of God.

And if God gets proclaimed louder and better from inside a Roman prison, then by golly, Paul is willing to get thrown into that prison.

Can we look at our circumstances that way?

what if our children are rebelling?
what if our husband lost his job?
what if we have gained ten pounds?
what if we have terrible neighbors?
what if we have a difficult work environment?
what if the money is used up before the month is?
what if our car breaks down?
what if we get sick?
what if a loved one gets sick?
what if one thing after another, after another, after another rolls over us like waves crashing to the shore and we never have time to get to our feet and catch our breath? What about then?

Those are all bad circumstances, just like jail is a bad circumstance. But if those circumstances lead others to hear about the Lord or see His work in our lives....what then? Would they be worth it then?

For Paul his imprisonment meant several things, besides that he got to catch up on his letters and give us not only Philippians, but also Ephesians, Colossians, and Philemon. Additionally, on top of writing all those letters, he also made sure that the "cause of Christ had become well known throughout the whole praetorian guard and to everyone else." (vs 13)

I mean, can you imagine being Paul's jailer? He would continually be telling you about Christ! How clever of God to put an evangelist right in the middle of Rome's governor's guard!

And then Paul says in verse 14 that many of the other brethren were having more courage to speak of God without fear! Maybe the Romans thought putting Paul in jail would make those other pesky Christians be quiet, but it seems to have had quite the opposite effect.

Our circumstances, just like Paul's, are just a stage. They are the backdrop against which God wants you to demonstrate HIS power, HIS sufficiency, HIS love and to reach into other's lives with His message.

Maybe God will use those difficult circumstances we find ourselves in to reach someone who would never have heard of Christ otherwise.

Maybe He will use them to encourage other believers to be courageous.

Maybe He will use them to loosen our grip on this world.

Maybe He will use them to show our children the reality of God in our lives.

Maybe He will use them to grow our love.

Maybe He will use them to grow our neighbor's love.

Maybe He will use them to save our marriage.

Maybe He will use them to enable us to minister to someone else's marriage.

Our lives are simply a stage where all those around us can see our dependence upon our God Who is sufficient and mighty and powerful and ready and willing to save. And the great news is, we just have to show up. God is ready, willing, and able to do the rest.

"For the eyes of the Lord move to and fro throughout the earth that He may strongly support those whose heart is completely His." ~II Chronicles 16:9

Gettin' Me Some Hinds' Feet

2011-10-27T19:48:00.000-07:00

Deer on the side of a cliff.

This is the picture of a deer on the side of a cliff in Africa.

Um....yeah. I guess I just stated the obvious. Sorry.

Are you wondering what my point is?

Well it is this. This picture illustrates to me some well-known Scripture. It is Scripture I have heard my whole life but lately I have completely changed the way I now understand it. This is the verse:

"The Sovereign Lord is my strength; He makes my feet like the feet of a deer, He enables me to tread on the heights." Habakkuk 3:19

My whole life I have looked at this Scripture and pictured the Lord holding me up as I walked through difficult places. Maybe He would be holding my hand or maybe He would be giving me some supernatural ability or maybe He caused a miracle to change the path into one I could navigate. In all these scenarios He ENABLED me to walk.

So how did that interpretation change?

Well, look what it would look like if I was climbing (and no, this is not me):

First of all, she has a helmet
And she has gloves
And there are some serious straps all around her body
....which are attached to the rope
And are those metal rods she is holding onto?

Now, if we go back to the top of the page and check the deer........yep, I checked. That dude has absolutely no safety equipment whatsoever!

And as I look at these two pictures I had the realization:

God isn't going to make my clumsy, size 6, slightly pigeon-toed feet able to climb mountains, even allegorically.

He is going to give me new, entirely different feet.

ME is not going to be able to do anything.

That is why He isn't going to enable my stubborn heart to truly love....He is going to give me a new heart. (Ezekiel 18:31)

And He isn't going to enable my spirit to survive the hardship....He is going to give me a new spirit. (Ps. 51:10)

Nor will He enable my mind to conceive the truth....instead He is going to give me a new mind.

(Eph. 4:23)

It seems lately I have been stumbling on the difficult tasks in my life. They have been fairly successful at tripping me up. And down there, in the dust of the trail, things look more bleak and more hopeless than they do from the high places.

But no wonder I have been having trouble.

I was using the wrong feet!

Lord, here are my feet: please make them new and into whatever you want them to be.

For who is God, but the Lord?

And who is a rock, except our God,

The God who girds me with strength

And makes my way blameless?

He makes my feet like hinds' feet,

And sets me upon my high places.

Psalm 18:31-33

When I Am Weak...

2011-10-24T16:14:00.000-07:00

I like this picture "Whistler's Mother" because she reminds me of
how I feel after a hard day's work.

...He is strong.

That is a truth that I come back to again and again and again.

Because I feel weak again and again and again.

Sometime I feel weak in my battle against my bad habits.
And sometimes I feel weak when I am trying to give unconditional love.
And sometimes I feel weak when I am faced with a tough day.
And sometimes I feel weak when I am tempted.
And sometimes I feel weak when I have too much to do.
And sometimes I feel weak when I need to turn the other cheek...and I don't want to.
And sometimes I feel weak.

No real reason. I just feel not up to the challenge of .....whatever.

It is the Math Problem of: addition of small thing plus small thing plus small thing that adds up to TOO MUCH for me to handle.

But God already knows this. He knows my inward parts. He knows I am flesh. He knows I am not able.

Maybe that is why He put this in the Scripture:

But He said to me, “My grace is enoughfor you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” So then, I will boast most gladly about my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ may reside in me… for whenever I am weak, then I am strong. II Corinthians 12:9,10

Hallelujah! I don’t ever need to worry about being strong enough on my own. I am weak so that "the power of Christ may reside in me.

In other words, I just need to get out of the way so God can be strong in me.

Now, there are things I should do. I should study and I should love and I should serve and I should forgive and I should repent.

But EVEN THEN....I will not be strong enough. I will NEVER be strong enough!

I will never be strong enough because of MY EFFORTS.

That is why it has NEVER been about my own efforts.

This is for you and for me. Our lives are simply a stage to demonstrate our insufficiency and God's power. In our weaknesses He is STRONG. He uses His power through and on the stage of our lives!

Our job?

Be obedient and keep showing up.

We have to show up on the battlefield of our lives. We show up on our knees. And we show up with our hearts. We show up for our family. And we show up to our neighbors. We show up in service. And we show up with worship.

We show up to the STAGE OF GOD'S POWER in us.

When we are weak....then and only then does Christ's power show through.

That is a life lived where there isn't any other explanation- only Jesus.

The Ordinary Disciple

2011-10-21T09:57:00.000-07:00

I love Oswald Chambers.

I love "My Upmost For His Highest".

It is the book that has taught me more about mothering and about following Jesus than any book, other than the Bible.

He is just so unafraid of being truthful.

Maybe that is because his words were never written to the general public. His writings were from his teachings or his journals. After his early death, when he was only 42, his wife compiled his most recent journal entries and his seminary teachings into daily readings. And she had to use his most recent because he had burned his earlier journals!

Today, October 21, I read the entry as I do most days. There are so often passages that stick out- but this one had flashing lights and sirens!

"We do not need the grace of God to stand crises, human nature and pride are sufficient, we can face the strain magnificently; but it does require the supernatural grace of God to live twenty-four hours in every day as a saint, to go through drudgery as a disciple, to live an ordinary, unobserved, ignored existence as a disciple of Jesus."

The problem with the "ordinary, unobserved, ignored existence" is that no one sees us or realizes just how many sacrifices we are making, or how much of our selves are dying, or how "graciously" we are handling our disappointments.

I mean, where is the fun in that?

What is the point of suffering, if you aren't going to get any credit for it? Maybe that is why we sigh. So we can draw attention to our overwork without actually saying anything?

It is like, when dessert is being passed around and you smile and say, "Oh, no thank you. I am on a diet." And then you companions compliment your self-discipline and say how great you are doing. It almost makes the self denial worth it!

But for no one to know? For no one to be impressed with our sacrifice?

It would mean that that I could be a disciple of the Living God of the universe while going through:

the drudgery of housework that though unseen makes a house into a home
the ordinary chores of daily life that are necessary but unpleasant
the unobserved sacrifices to enable others needs to be met
the ignored moments of death to self that transform an argument into a moment of peace or a disagreement into an experience of grace.

Most of the work of the ordinary disciple is unnoticed, unless it is not done. If we do not live the life of the unobserved and ordinary than literally, all hell will break loose. Literally.

But, if we are living the life of the unobserved appropriator of the Grace of God it will effect everyone we live with, but here is the catch. They may not even realize why and they may not even realize who- which means we will get NO credit.

Oswald goes on to say:

"It is inbred in us that we have to do exceptional things for God; but we have not. We have to be exceptional in the ordinary things, to be holy in mean streets, among mean people, and this is not learned in five minutes."

He is right: to be exceptional in ordinary things does not take five minutes. It only takes a moment. The moment we are wronged, the moment we are ignored, the moment we are "dumped" on: in that moment we have the choice.

The choice to be the ordinary, ignored disciple. And appropriate the Grace of God. And see death out of life. And see peace and joy and love enter the room.

And then we get to do it again. The next moment, and the next moment, and the next......

Pressure Makes Diamonds

2011-10-17T19:33:00.000-07:00

"Pressure makes diamonds."
~George Patton

Yes, it is true. Pressure makes diamonds- when aided by a lot of time and heat. And I like the thought of being made into a diamond.

But pressure makes me something else: CRAZY.

Really, really crazy. And tired. And cranky. And a very, very good player of the Blame Game.

Because pressure is usually related to the people in our lives and their needs, and their requests, and their demands, and their, well, whatever.

And it is therefore easy to blame the PEOPLE rather than the problems.

This stuck out to me very strongly the other day as I read in Ephesians 6 about the armor of God. Now, this is a very familiar passage and I catch myself sometimes skimming over the familiar verses because, well, you know, I have read them before.

But as I read/skimmed the other day I had a new thought and understanding. (And this, by the way, is why I shouldn't skim- God's Word ALWAYS has something new to say!)

So here it is: Eph 6:11,12
Clothe yourselves with the full armor of God so that you may be able to stand against the schemes of the devil. For our struggle is not against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the powers, against the world rulers of this darkness, against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavens."

As I read this I realized, this is one of the Greatest Schemes of our enemy: to fool us into WHO and WHAT we think is the problem.

The people in our lives ARE NOT THE PROBLEM. Even when they have problems:

not the critical parent
not the unkind spouse
not the rebellious child
not the unreasonable boss
not the angry neighbor
not the grumpy store clerk
not the selfish driver in the next lane
not the lazy co-worker
not the demanding family
not even myself or my own bad habit or my own failings.

Every one of these things, these people, including ourselves, are flesh and blood, and our struggle is NOT against flesh and blood! But when we are busy blaming each other for our problems or identifying each other as the problem or seeing ourselves as the problem we are distracted FROM THE REAL PROBLEM.

So, nice try Satan, trying to divert me from the REAL battlefield. But I am on to you now! You are the problem. And sin is the problem. And all the other things listed in Eph. 6:12- they are the problems.

So maybe that pressure isn't so bad after all- since I now know it is not the people around me who are making me crazy.

Maybe this "becoming a diamond" thing isn't so bad either.

2011-10-10T19:40:00.000-07:00

Today, I again heard the Plop. Bounce. Roll. Splat. And it reminded me of last year. Then we had had so much rain that there were lots of acorns. This year we have had a drought, and so.....yeah, there aren't so many. But there are some. And they are falling. And they are dying. And out of their death......well, I guess you will have to read the rest below!

Re-post from Oct 9, 2010

Plop. Bounce. Roll. Splat.

I kept hearing this sound over and over on the roof. Something was falling with fair regularity upon my roof. Something hard, but not too heavy from the sound of it. But what was it?

Finally it struck me. It was acorns. After a very wet Summer and Fall for south Texas standards, our oak trees

are brimming with them. And we are sur

rounded by oak trees.

I always loved acorns- how they wear little hats that can instantly with a twinkle of the imagination be turned into a doll's tea cup. I love their greens and browns. I love how they hang in pairs.

But as I listened to the acorns drop noisily onto my roof over several weeks I began to think beyond the romantic view of acorns and began to think about what was happening to the acorns. Why were they falling and what were they falling for?

Now, to set the background, there are some things going on in my family that have the potential to be discouraging and downright disheartening. When a dream dies, or a relationship ends, or a shortage occurs it can be painful. There can be death to a vision or death to a dream. And death always involves grief.

But.....

"I tell you the solemn truth,unless a kernel of wheat falls into the ground and dies, it remains by itself alone.But if it dies, it producesmuch grain." (Jn 12:24)

That is why, after all, the acorn can't stay hanging in the tree. If all it every wanted to be was an acorn it could hang there and look decorative, but all it would ever do is hang. How many acorns are on an oak tree? Well after a little research I found the rather unscientific estimate of "thousands". But one reason it is hard to pinpoint is that the number can fluctuate so much each year depending on the weather. But while the number of acorns on a tree can fluctuate, the productivity of a single acorn can not- there is only one seed per acorn. Only one.

And the only way that seed will get in the ground is for the acorn to let go of its comfortable, life-sustaining position and drop to the ground. And there it must die. It must die to its previous position and status and affluence and security- all that it had while hanging on to big old oak tree. But if it dies...

"But if it dies, it producesmuch grain."

And then it can grow into a tree and produce thousands upon thousands upon thousands of acorns.

Out of death comes life. At least with God in the middle of it all.

And God is in the middle of it all...OF IT ALL! He is with us in the midst of the struggle and pain. He is there to console, comfort and redeem. He is there to plant us, nourish us, water us, and then cause the growth so that when "it dies, it producesmuch grain."

"To console those who mourn in Zion, To give them beauty for ashes, The oil of joy for mourning, The garment of praise for the spirit of heaviness; That they may be called trees of righteousness, The planting of the LORD, that He may be glorified." (Isaiah 61:3; NKJV)

Sin Crouching at the Door?

2011-10-06T17:34:00.000-07:00

Then the Lord said to Cain, "why are you angry, and why is your expression downcast? Is it not true that if you do what is right, you will be fine? But if you do not do what is right, sin is crouching at the door. It desires to dominate you, but you must subdue it."

Gen 4:6,7

Crouching Sin
Have you ever wondered what "sin crouching at the door" would look like.

Well, I am from Texas, and I know EXACTLY what it looks like:

Yep! That is exactly what it looks like! Really!

And I know, because it seems I am constantly having to look out of these guys in my house!

I had just killed a really small one the other night (favorite method is to SMASH it very hard with a shoe). I had left it on the floor because frankly not only do I hate scorpions, but even after they are dead I still hate them so much I don't want to pick them up.

I am normally not such a sissy, by the way. I don't scream or faint when I see insects....well, except for scorpions. And snakes. I cannot claim any bravery at all when a slithering reptile is approaching!

Anyway, back to the story. I had already smashed one small scorpion in the doorway of my bedroom. I had gone out to the kitchen and then headed back down the hall to my bedroom- barefoot of course (will I never learn?!?!). As I approached my bedroom I slowed down to make sure that the little bugger was still flat as a pancake which would mean it was still dead, when I saw a most definitely un-flat, tail up, slightly bigger than I remembered scorpion. I stopped, felt confused, and wondered if it had come back to life and gotten bigger??? Then I realized what you probably figured out several sentences ago- this was another one! Bigger! And in almost the exact same place!

So I did what all healthy, true-blue, American women do.....I screamed and called my husband to bring a shoe. I mean really. I had already killed my quota of scorpions for the day AND I was unarmed! (remember- no shoes). And not only did my man smash the evil insect to smithereens, he also cleaned up not only his dead scorpion, he also picked up my little one! What a guy.

And this matters because?..?..?

And you wanted to know what these had to do with "sin crouching at the door"?

Well, I will tell you!

That scorpion reminded me of that verse out of Genesis where God is warning Cain to beware. Sin was waiting to pounce on Cain. And Cain was susceptible- God could tell by one good look at his face! Our faces so often scream out the inner ugliness of our heart. No matter how well we think we are hiding it, by the way!

And the very night I was being attacked (okay, not attacked, but really, two scorpions within 5 minutes of each other in the same place......coincidence???? I think not!), but back to the story....when I FELT attacked, at the exact same time I was dealing with a sin that was crouching at the door right beside that scorpion.

It was like God was giving me my own personal view into what my heart was looking like. What was the sin crouching at my door waiting for me to give it opportunity?

It was the sin of retaliation. The sin of "take that"! The sin of NOT turning the other cheek. The sin of defensiveness. The sin of the tongue.

That sin crouches rather persistently at my door. It is right there every time I feel wronged. It is there every time I feel misunderstood. It is there every time I feel accused of something.

Because I DON'T LIKE to be told I am wrong and I DON'T LIKE to be corrected and I DON'T LIKE to have my plans altered.

It's true. It may be too honest to admit that right here in the middle of the cyber world- but there it is and it is very, very true.

And the base of that sin is P.R.I.D.E.

I wish that every time it raises its big ugly tail to sting me, my Lord would gently remind me:

"why are you angry, and why is your expression downcast? Is it not true that if you do what is right, you will be fine? But if you do not do what is right, sin is crouching at the door. It desires to dominate you, but you must subdue it."

OH. Really. I didn't realize.

My attitude matters that much?

Sin is just waiting for me?

And I am supposed to subdue it?

How do I do that?

The exact same way I subdued that ugly scorpion.

I take out my shoe (like the shoes of the Gospel of Peace maybe?) and smash that sin to smithereens. I don't allow it any ground and I don't let it get away.

I. Must. Subdue. It.

Not excuse it.

Not justify it.

Not compare it to someone else's.

Not ignore it.

I must take up my shoe and subdue it.

"We must get rid of every weight and the sin that clings so closely"

Heb 12:1

Just think of it as spiritual "Pest Control"!

Sometimes My Head Needs Lifting!

2011-10-03T06:51:00.000-07:00

Sometimes I am so tired when I go to bed.

Sometimes I am so tired when I wake up!

And that would be this morning, by the way. Ugh. I am supposed to be up and leading the day and getting school started and cheerfully encouraging the children and......yeah- that is what I am supposed to be doing.

But instead, I am waiting for the coffee to kick in.

*Side note: did you know that studies show that women who drink coffee suffer from less depression!!! Ha! I love it when "studies show" something good about something I do a lot of but which I feel a slight amount of guilt over. Oh Sweet Release!

So this morning, because (warning: transparency coming) I didn't want to read anything "HARD" and study hard, I didn't go to where I left off in Ephesians, I instead went to Psalms and was just going to read the "Psalms of the Day"- you know, where you do the date Psalm (Psalm 3 today) and then add 30 until you get to end of the Psalms (Psalms 3, 33, 63, 93, 123). I have done this for years and now it feels "easier". Yep- the translation of what I was this morning: LAZY!

But God isn't lazy. Nor does He waste any of His Word. Probably because it is Living and Active and stuff like that!

So.....

Psalm 3 was just what I needed this morning. It is a time when I am looking at our schedule and our requirements and our plans and our meetings and our lesson plans and our laundry and I am wondering, "How am I going to fit 39 gallons of needs into a 24 gallon day?"

And this is what God told me from Psalm 3:

3 But Thou, O Lord, are a shield about me

* I am protected all the time by the encompassing shield of my Father

My glory, and the One who lifts my head.

* He is what is good and He is the One who lifts my head out of my hands. It is He who takes care of me!

4 I was crying to the Lord with my voice

* Oh good, even David cried sometimes! I love the honesty of Scripture. It is not bad for me to cry to the Lord!

And He answered me from His holy mountain.

* Not only MAY I cry, but my cries are heard! By God! And He answers me!

5 I lay down and slept

* God's care, protection, and answers allow me to stop fretting and to rest!

I awoke, for the Lord sustains me.

*God's care and protection are not to allow me to stay in bed! His refreshment is to re-energize me to wake up, get up, and face whatever He allows into my life.

6 I will not be afraid of ten thousands of people.

* It is amazing how sometimes five people (the number of family still living in my home) can seem like ten thousands! At least all the things those people need or all the messes they can make or all the life that we live together! And then add in everything else and everyone else and all the everything involved in raising a family and homeschooling and being involved in "stuff" and- it feels like ten thousands of people are:

Who have set themselves against me round about.

* yep, it is true. Sometimes it feels like all that stuff above (in the people paragraph) are set against me! Like drawn up in battle array! With awfully big guns!

7 Arise, O Lord; save me, O my God!...

* Hallelujah! It is not my job to conquer all the foes. Instead, God will save me!

8 Salvation belongs to the Lord;
Thy blessing be upon Thy people!

* God brings the salvation and God brings the blessings

My job is to rest in Him and then get up when He wakes me. To look on the ten thousands of needs and not fear. To call on the Lord and watch His salvation. To wait for His blessings.

So I think I will get up after all this morning. And face the day. In the presence of my Lord. And I think I will sit back and see what He Will Do!

It is of the Lord's mercies that we are not consumed, because His compassions fail not. They are new every morning: great is thy faithfulness.

Lamentations 3:22-23

When It Is GOOD To Be Fat!

2011-09-27T18:22:00.000-07:00

One of "joys" of being a, well....mature....aging.....um...."older" woman is fact that if I eat the same amount food as I did in younger days, I will not...well....let's just say... I will not have the same amount of "padding". By that, I do not mean there is less!

It is one of those dirty little secrets that no one tells you. As you age not only do things migrate south, but also hair that turns grey also turns wiry and unreasonable, and sleep begins to allude you, and body parts that you were not even aware that you have begin to hurt, but on top of all those little party favors, your body apparently begins to forget how to metabolize food.

I'm not kidding.

Now one slice of cheese converts into 1/2 inch of girth.
Just looking at ice cream translates to 3 pounds.
And a slice of pizza....well, you can imagine the damage of that!

So you can imagine the joy I felt when I found something that is supposed to be fat!

My soul.

No kidding, just look at this:

The soul of the sluggard craves and gets nothing,

but the soul of the diligent is made fat.

Proverbs 13:4

And not only do we want a fat soul, leanness of soul is seen as a bad thing:

And He gave them their request,
but sent leanness into their soul.

Psalm 106:15

Yeah! Leanness is bad! Fat is good!

Well. At least for souls.

When LEAN is Bad

So how did that bad leanness in Psalm 106 happen? It happened when the Israelites were out in the wilderness, wandering around and getting hungry and getting worried and doubting God. Nevermind that they had just watched the Red Sea swallow up the Egyptian army, they still doubted God's ability to provide for them.

So they fretted. They complained. They begged for relief.

And then God sent them what they wanted.

But would they have still wanted it if they had realized the cost? What if God had had them on a program in the wilderness that was going to make their souls fat? But they missed out?

What if what we want is the very thing that will turn our heart from God and make our soul skinny and shriveled and lacking in life and abundance?

Would anything be worth that?

Fatten Up!
So how do we fatten up our soul?

By DILIGENTLY, persistently, unswervingly, energetically, doggedly pursuing God and what He wants!

Even if it takes us straight into a dangerous wilderness with no water, food, or protection. Even if it is for 40 years. Even if it means leaving all that we know behind. Even if it means heading for a future that is unknown.

The sluggard in Prov. 13 craved. Which means he WANTED stuff. Maybe he wanted an easier job. Maybe he wanted more money in the bank. Maybe he wanted his investments to do better. Maybe he wanted what his neighbors had.

But, what if God had given him what he craved for. Would he have had what he really needed? And what would be the state of his soul? Would it be fat?

Maybe we need to stop craving something, anything, different than we have. Maybe we need to stop complaining about the economy, or the shrinking paycheck, or the government, or the......(and you can fill in the blank there).

Maybe all of that is just the means God has to FATTEN UP OUR SOULS!

Maybe diligently pursuing God through difficult times is just what we need to have a Fat Soul!

The world offers us:

a fat wallet, and an emaciated spirit
a prosperous life, and a bankrupt heart
a rich job, and a defunct dream
an obese brain, and a destitute life
an opulent ambition, and a lean soul.

So thank you very much world, but I will take a FAT SOUL if you please.

As the old Gospel hymn goes, "You can have all this world, just give me Jesus."

"Don't View Life Through the Lens"

2011-09-22T20:03:00.000-07:00

"Don't view life through the lens."

That is the advice that my photographer daughter sometimes gets- lovingly of course- from her younger sister. And in reality it is good advice. If you are always looking through your viewfinder and out through the lens of your camera, you may miss some pretty interesting things around you.

And so having overheard this advice rather often lately, it reverberated in my ears, when I also got to learn this lesson.

I was on a cruise. I know, I know- I am terribly spoiled by my Lord who delights to give good gifts to His children! He takes very good care of my though I neither deserve nor expect it. But because His very nature is good, He delights to lavish on us unexpected gifts.

And so it was I found myself on a ship, surrounded by friends and having a marvelous time. One morning I woke up early and made my way to the Lido deck first, to procure a cup of coffee, and then on to the top deck to watch the sunrise.

And the sunrise was beautiful. And the longer I stood there, the more beautiful it became. I stood there trying to get the perfect shot, the whole time realizing that my camera could never capture the beauty before me.

And then all of a sudden, a still voice in my spirit beckoned me to put my camera down. And I, as I must confess I often do, ignored the voice for a while because it was distracting me from getting my shot.

But then I listened. And I put the camera down.

And my view opened up.

And I realized....the sunrise was not just in front of me on the horizon. No. It was a 360 degree, technicolor, Vistavision, surround sound, IMAX, 3-D, extravaganza of color and beauty.

I had almost missed it because I was only looking at what was before me.

Then I felt the Lord teaching me a deep lesson:

What I see in front of me is just one small piece of what God is up to. He is doing great and marvelous things all around me. And I need to put down my limited view of looking at things through my circumstance or through my hurts or through my needs. I need to open up my field of view to the 360 degree work of my Lord.

So that morning on the deck I put my camera down. It could never capture all the glory of the moment anyway. Instead of seeing the sunrise through the lens, I got the whole picture and stood in awe of my Lord and this small glimpse of His beauty.

I realized in a new and deeper way that when I see what is going on around me it is just a fraction of what God is up to.

"He does great and unsearchable things, marvelous things without number."

Job 5:9

Going on Vacation!

2011-08-24T06:48:00.000-07:00

I get to go on an amazing vacation.

Here is the deal- I never could have gone on my own budget; I never would have dreamed of the opportunity; I thought this was the sort of thing "other people" got to do.

But I get to. Because I serve an amazing God. And He does amazing things in other people's hearts. And He showers His blessings on His children.

sometimes directly
sometimes through the hearts of His people.

So I will be gone for a little over three weeks.

Amazing.

I will be back with lessons learned lots to share!

See you in three weeks.

Now to him who is able to do immeasurably more than all we ask or imagine, according to his power that is at work within us, to him be glory in the church and in Christ Jesus throughout all generations, for ever and ever! Amen. Ephesians 3:20,21

A Sacrifice of Praise?

2011-08-22T06:52:00.000-07:00

On the way to church, my head hurting, my mind reeling, my heart dragging......

Hmmmmm......, I don't think that is what I am supposed to be doing or feeling. I mean, I am going to the House of my Lord and am going to hear His word preached and praise His name in study and in song and be blessed by being with other believers.

What is wrong with me?

As I drive along, condemning myself and feeling badly about feeling so badly, a verse came into my mind:

Through Him then, let us continually offer up a sacrifice of praise to God, that is, the fruit of lips that give thanks to His name." -Hebrews 13:15

A sacrifice of praise?

What does that even mean?

I will tell you what it meant to me this past Sunday morning on the way to church:

I had to slay and then lay on the altar the things that were huge impediments to my praise. They had to be sacrificed because I had to PRAISE.
My mind, my body, and my feelings had to be laid down because they were incapable that morning of praising!

First was my mind which was condemning me and thinking of all the undone chores and worrying about the problems and logically looking at situations which it was declaring "impossible"....

It had to be laid down

Second was my body which was tired and consumed with a looming migraine and achy and weary and teary and....

It had to be laid down

Third were my feelings which were jumbled and sad and conflicted and disappointed and confused and....

They had to be laid down

All three of these parts of me had to be laid on the altar so that my lips would not give off complaints or judgement or despair, but rather "the fruit of (my) lips would give thanks to His name."

So choosing to praise anyway....maybe that is the sacrifice. Choosing to be thankful. Choosing to be grateful. Choosing to be humble. Choosing to be content. Choosing to be satisfied.

Satisfied in Jesus.

And as I feebly gave that sacrifice of praise, not a thing around me changed- my head still hurt and the problems were still the same.....but somehow praising changed everything.

Now again this morning, I am trying to remember that lesson. Today is an anniversary of an event that seemed to be one of promise but changed into one of heartbreak. So today, as I WANT to feel sad and despondent, I. Will. Praise.

Will.

Praise.

Him.

Why, my soul, are you downcast?

Why so disturbed within me? Put your hope in God,

for I will yet praise Him, my Savior and my God.

Ps. 43:5

Raising His Child

2011-08-18T07:06:00.000-07:00

It takes a great deal of faith and trust to remember and believe that the Lord created our children exactly how He desired them to be. So that they can do the exact job He designed them to do.

Each one unique.
Each one especially designed.
Each one carved by the Master's hand.
Each one with strengths.
Each one with weaknesses.

And yet each one scarred by the ravages of the sin nature they inherited from us.

Our job is not to change the design of our children, but rather to train their hearts to be strong so that their sin nature will not destroy or distort the Master's design.

I remember eons ago, before I had children, coming down squarely on the Nurture side of the Nature Vs. Nurture argument. Now, 23 years later, I laugh at myself. How naive. It is not either/or but rather it is both/and. It is 100% Nature and 100% Nurture!

Our nurturing of our children matters immensely. I am a big proponent of pro-active parenting. What we do in our children's lives makes all the difference in the world.

But our children have a Designer...and therefore a design! And it is not our job to change that design.

I want to suggest that God's design of our children is under attack from the world, our own expectations, and their own sin nature. That is why parenting is such a grace-needed, prayer-producing activity! Because as parents we are not supposed to be engineers, tinkering with the design. Rather, we are gardeners: pulling weeds, fertilizing, pruning, and watering the gardens of our children's hearts.

Here is a wonderful article that got me thinking about this very thing.
http://www.incourage.me/2011/07/katie-cat-2.html#comment-95504

For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the LORD, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.

Jeremiah 29:11

Give Me Jesus

2011-08-15T09:21:00.000-07:00

This morning as I was "running" (and it wasn't pretty) I was listening to Fernando Ortega. I sort of pick my ipod music by my mood:

Energetic- Stephen Curtis Chapman
Really Energetic- Casting Crowns or Third Day
Needing Encouragement- Laura Story
No mood- just a mix of whatever
Contemplative- Fernando Ortega

This morning I was feeling contemplative. Mostly I think I was just contemplating how much I didn't want to run. But I ran, with Fernando singing in my ears and as I was struggling up a hill, tying to find whatever shade was possible because at 8:00 am it was already hot...

Aside- finding the shade meant I had to run right next to the Rottweilers. So I would like to publicly thank Rotty 1 and Rotty 2 for your personal "encouragement" this morning. Your incessant barking certainly helped me to run faster

...struggling to put one foot in front of the other

Aside #2- curious as to who it was who caused my shoes to weigh at least ten pounds more each this morning. Now that they are off my feet they seem to be back to normal. Weird.

...trying to breath

Aside #3- was it the heat that sucked the oxygen out of the air? ....or did it all get sucked into my shoes and that is what made them heavy?....or did the Rottweilers use it all up in order to be able to bark so long and loud?

....Alright, sorry, got distracted. I will make my point.

Back to Fernando and this morning. I was listening to one of his songs with this line, "you can have all this world, just give me Jesus."

And so as I struggled up the hill I began to list in my mind what were the things on my "WORLD" list that get in the way of my Jesus.

WORLD:

desire for a remodeled kitchen
desire for a car with less than 100,000 miles and without the "customized hood" from "kissing" the car in front of us.
dream garden
recovered furniture
resolved relationship issues
resolved business issues
"enough" money -whatever that means
time
to-do lists that are done at the end of the day
school schedules that actually work for more than two days in a row
personal character issues resolved in my life
personal character issues resolved in my kids' lives
ability to go from "running" to Running!
.......

That is a very incomplete list by the way, but it is a start.

But honestly, you can have. You can have it all.

Just give me Jesus.

Because even if all those things happened, without Jesus it wouldn't be enough. Even if my budget overflowed and my piles were non-existent and my house was fixed-up and I finally ran in that 10K, even with all of everything done or accomplished or performed or supplied.....

Even with ALL that....without Jesus....it would never, ever be enough.

"You can have all this world, just give me Jesus."

Gonna Get Me Some "True Grit"

2011-08-12T08:14:00.000-07:00

Recently I watched the new "True Grit" movie. And I enjoyed it. But what it really put me in the mood for was to see the old "True Grit."

I mean: John Wayne. Need I say more?

There are some things that are just iconic and are very hard to mess with. Besides, the movie has some great lines like:

Rooster: "I always go backwards when I back away."
Rooster: "I only take one step at a time. That is why I have two feet."
Mattie: "Mr LaBoeuf, I have no regard for you, but I am sure you have enough for yourself to go around."
LaBoeuf: "You hit his lower lip? What were you aiming for? -His upper lip?"
LaBoeuf to Rooster when he is drunk: "You couldn't see it if you saw it."
Mattie about alcohol: "I would not put a thief in my mouth to steal my brains!"

I love good, old-fashioned, country wisdom. It is straight and to the point and rather colorful.

But my favorite line from the whole movie is Mattie's line which explains why she choose Rooster Cogburn: "They say he has grit. I need a man with grit."

She had other options to Rooster. She could have chosen a Marshall that looked better, or talked nicer, or smelled like something other than a distillery. But she was looking for a different characteristic. She was looking for someone with grit.

What is grit? Grit is literally loose sand or small pieces of gravel.

But when it is used allegorically Google defines grit as:

" Clench (the teeth), esp. in order to keep one's resolve when faced with an unpleasant or painful duty"

Are you ever faced with unpleasant or painful duties? Ones which push you past your comfort zone?

You gonna be a Mama and raise children for the Lord when the world wants to take them and dilute them and make them ineffective?

Then you need some grit.

You gonna be go to work everyday and keep your integrity and stay faithful to your spouse and not become a slave to money and position?

Then you need some grit.

You gonna talk about Jesus to people who will look at you and call you archaic or bigoted or non-inclusive or irrelevant?

Then you need some grit.

You gonna pick up your six-shooter, mount your horse, and ride at the enemy (and don't be fooled, we HAVE an enemy!)? Are you gonna ride at him with all your might and go through water, fire, and storm as a soldier of the One, True, God?

Then you NEED some GRIT!

My favorite line from the whole movie, is when Rooster's enemy, Ned Pepper taunts him with: "That is bold talk for a one-eyed fat man!"

Isn't that the way of the enemy? He finds our faults and short-comings and then taunts us with them. And usually he doesn't bother with taunting us with made-up short-comings. If the enemy taunted us with faults that weren't true they would have no power to discourage us. They would have no ability to dissuade us.

Rooster was fat. Rooster had one eye.

But Rooster had something else.

Grit.

So lets get us some grit. And lets grab us our gun. And lets get on our horse. And lets ride hard and fast and light.

We have us an enemy. But what is more, we have us a God Who is worth fighting for.

And then when people look at us, or when people need to find someone to fight for them, may they look around and when they see us say: "They tell me your a man (or woman) with true grit."

Choking the Life Out of Me

2011-08-05T05:48:00.000-07:00

This past Sunday morning, I mused and pondered on the lack of fruit in my garden and the picture that gave me of the lack of fruit in not only individual Christians' lives but also the modern church. Then I went to church and our guest pastor looked right at me and quoted Scripture that I hadn't even thought of about the same thing! Isn't God amazing???? In order for this post to make more sense, you might want to read the first one HERE.

God is so amazing. Here I was wondering why the church in America is so unfruitful, and He had ALREADY TOLD ME! In fact, I have repeatedly used this exact Scripture to encourage others in parenting or to examine my own parenting issues.

The Parable of the Sower
In Matthew 13 Jesus tells the story about seed and the different ground it falls on and the effect that ground has on the fruitfulness of that seed. Some seed fell on the wayside and the birds ate it, some fell on the stony places, but could not develop much of a root system in that stony ground so the they died when it got hot and dry. And some fell among the thorns and the thorns choked out those plants.

And then there was the seed that fell on the good ground. It was fruitful. It multiplied greatly. It did what it was supposed to do- it produced fruit.

So which one are we? The Church in the modern western world today?

Listen to Jesus' explanation:

Now he who received seed among the thorns is he who hears the word, and the cares of this world and the deceitfulness of riches choke the word, and he becomes unfruitful. ~Matthew 13:22

The cares of this world.
The deceitfulness of riches.
Yes, those can choke the life right out of you.

Why and how do they choke the life out of us? By taking all our time and all our energy. They become the priority of our heart. They crowd out our soul. They steal our strength. They fill up our mind. And they don't leave us any time for our neighbor.

And then how can we possibly fulfill the greatest commandments:

You shall love the LORD your God with all your heart, with all your soul, with all your strength, and with all your mind, and your neighbor as yourself. ~Luke 10:27

More Thorns

Everyone will deal with thorns. It is guaranteed. How can I say that with such confidence? Because they were part of the curse of the fall:

Cursed is the ground for your sake; in toil you shall eat of it

All the days of your life. Both thorns and thistles it shall bring forth for you,

Genesis 3:17b-18

Well, thank you Adam!

But seriously, what do these thorns represent? Are the cares of the world and the deceitfulness of riches the only things we need to be concerned about? Actually, Scripture labels others issues thorns as well. Here are just a few:

Evil Influence

When the Israelites entered the Holy Land they were instructed to drive out all the current inhabitants because God knew that His people would be prone to fall into the evil practices and idol worship of the current residents. Look how God describes the influence of people who practice evil:

But if you do not drive out the inhabitants of the land from before you,

then it shall be that those whom you let remain shall be irritants in your eyes

and thorns in your sides, and they shall harass you in the land where you dwell.

Num. 33:55

Laziness

Funny, because laziness is probably the opposite problem of the "cares of the world". Certainly the lazy man is not as worried about "the deceitfulness of riches"! Or he wouldn't be lazy! Instead he would be busy. But laziness is selfishness and is just a much a thorn that will prevent fruitfulness as working too much is!

The way of the lazy man is like a hedge of thorns,
But the way of the upright is a highway.

Proverbs 15:19

And here is probably the worst thorn of all:

Useless waste of good conditions

When I look at our affluent Western churches, I think this must be the biggest issue. We can't complain about money, not compared to other parts of the world. We can't complain about freedom to worship. We really can't complain about anything. We have been given all that is necessary to be fruitful...It is just that we so often are not!

Now listen to this verse!

For the earth which drinks in the rain that often comes upon it,

and bears herbs useful for those by whom it is cultivated,

receives blessing from God; but if it bears thorns and briers, it is rejected

and near to being cursed, whose end is to be burned.

Hebrews 6:7-8

And So....

I will end this post the exact same way I ended the last post. It is a call to me personally. And it is a call to my family. Because that is where I can start. Will you join me?

May we stop producing thorns, and start producing fruit!

May I wake up.
May we wake up.
May we take Jesus and His word seriously.
And may we start producing fruit...while we still can.

PS- If you haven't read the book Radical by David Platt, I heartily endorse it. But I will add a caution that someone else stated the other day: if we read it, and by taking in the information think we are somehow doing something, then we are deluded. It isn't that we know that we can and should be radical that will make the church radically different. It is ONLY by being Radical!

Here is a link:
http://www.radicalthebook.com/

Where's the Fruit?!?!

2011-07-31T08:14:00.000-07:00

Where's the Beef?

Years ago, there was a Wendy's restaurant commercial where a grumpy old lady would lift the bun off the hamburger, take one look at the patty and yell, "Where's the beef?!?!"

I felt that way one morning as I took a look at my garden, only since I am growing tomato plants and not cows, instead of "Where's the beef?" I thought, "Where's the fruit?!?!"

I have have planted a garden for the first time in a long time and have waited very eagerly for some fresh produce. We have had a long, dry, summer- and when I say dry I mean the third worst drought in south Texas of all time. And the third-worst drought in Texas is saying something! It is dry around here.

See how green the garden is?
But where is the fruit?

But in spite of droughts and in spite of deer eating my plants to nubs, I have persevered and my plants have grown. And grown. And grown.

And they have bloomed.

But there is one problem. There is very little fruit.

I have blossoms, but why no fruit?

Harvest so far? One cherry tomato (which was very delicious, but not exactly filling), and 4 Serrano peppers that I am trying to figure out what to do with. I have just a few tomatoes on the vine that I hope will someday ripen, but for the amount of plants I have, and the effort that has been put in, and the water that has been applied....it is just not very impressive.

As I was pondering this while watering the other day, it struck me. This is exactly what I never want my life to be- a garden of pretty, healthy plants that look like they are going to be very fruitful, but never exactly produces anything much of actual value.

And then I thought of the American church. All the buildings, and programs, and mission trips, and activities, and meetings, and committees, and retreats, and..., and...., and....

We have so very, very much- but the question begs to be asked...where's the fruit?!?!

Where's the Fruit?

If Jesus was serious (and I mean that rhetorically, because OF COURSE He was serious!) in Luke 12:48 when He said,

"to whomsoever much is given,

of him shall be much required"

then we- and by this I mean the whole American church, individually and collectively, could be in some serious trouble.

Why is there so little fruit in our personal lives, and why is there so little fruit in our churches?

Maybe it is because when we could have been reading the Word, we were reading Facebook.
Or maybe it is because when we could have been ministering to the poor, we were at the movies.
Or maybe it is because when we could have been praying, we were texting.
Or maybe it is because when we could have been involved in an in-depth Bible study, we were trying to find something to watch on one of our 500 TV channels.
Or maybe it is because when we could have given money to help rebuild a church for persecuted believers, we used that money for going out to eat instead.
Or maybe it is because when we could have been reading a biography of some great man or woman of God and could have been inspired and moved, instead we were watching funny videos on youtube.
Or maybe it is because when we could have been evangelizing we were playing volleyball, or riding our skateboard, or going bowling, or water skiing, or shopping, or getting our nails done, or finding SOME WAY to entertain ourselves and not be bored.

We have more ways to distract ourselves to death than any generation before us.

And it is sucking the life out of us.

It is sucking all the life that could pour through our veins and produce fruit. Instead all the nourishment and opportunity we receive just makes us look good while we produce NOTHING.

I am not talking about working to be saved. I am just saying if Jesus was serious when He said in Matthew 12:33, (and yes, I think He was serious this time too),

"for the tree is known by its fruit."

then what does that say about us? What are we producing? Is there enough fruit in our lives to even know who we are? And if we have no fruit, will the world even know Whose we are?

And if we have been given so much, and that means that much will be required, but we have produced so little-

and by produced so little, I mean outside of buildings and programs and debt and entertainment and television church....

when it is required of us, what will we say? What will be our excuse?

May I wake up.
May we wake up.
May we take Jesus and His word seriously.
And may we start producing fruit...while we still can.

Keep Praying!

2011-07-29T07:15:00.000-07:00

We don't like to wait for anything! We want our food fast and hot. We want our communication instant. We want no red lights in our life. But the truth and often the frustration of our life is that with most things we have to "wait for it".

Prayer

Have you ever prayed for something for a long time and yet not seen any results?

Have you ever prayed and felt it got no further than the ceiling?

Have you ever been convicted to pray and then thought, "Oh, what's the use."

Have you ever wondered if God actually hears all your prayers?

Most of us, in Christian circles, might not want to admit that yes, sometimes we do wonder about prayer and question its effectiveness and fail to persevere in praying through the long dark nights of silence.

But prayer is not like an ATM machine. It is not a fast food drive-through window. It is not a vending machine.

So, how do we keep praying?

Your Petition Was Heard
Let's look at the parents of John the Baptist, Zacharias and Elizabeth. They had wanted children all their lives. And they had prayed for children. They had lived righteous, blameless, obedient lives for the Lord (Luke 1:5-18). But they had never received the "Yes" answer to their prayers. They had never had a child.

But then one day, when Zacharias was doing his duties, in the Holy of Holies by the way, an angel comes and says to him, in the present tense, like the couple had just prayed that morning, "Your petition has been heard...Elizabeth will bear a son."

And I know, even though the Scripture does not say it, that Zacharias had long ago given up hope. Why? Because he ARGUES WITH THE ANGEL GABRIEL! (Note to self: if an angel of the Lord comes and give me a message, just believe it. No Arguing!) The prayer he had prayed all his life has just been proclaimed by an angel of the Lord to be heard!

Or how about this example: Daniel 9 contains a beautiful prayer of Daniel, in fact his prayer takes up 4/5ths of the chapter. And then all of a sudden Gabriel shows up (yes, the same Gabriel that showed up to John). And his first words to Daniel are, "As soon as you began to pray, an answer was given..."

Some More Proof
"I have heard them crying out... the cry of the Israelites has reached me" Ex. 3:7,9

"The LORD...hears the prayer of the righteous." Prov. 15:29

“In my distress I called to the LORD; I called out to my God. From his temple He heard my voice; my cry came to his ears. 2 Sam. 22:7

"The effective prayer of a righteous man can accomplish much." James 5:16

But reading about "the effective prayer" the question begs to be asked, if we know from the book of John that Zacharias and Elizabeth were righteous why did it take so long for their "effective prayer" to "accomplish much" in the form of a young son?

Wait For It!

2 Peter 3:9 says: "The Lord is not slow in keeping his promise, as some understand slowness." God wasn't slow in answering their prayer. He was, rather, split-second perfect. Not only was He giving them a son, but their son was the one who was the fore-runner of Christ. John couldn't come until the moment of the ages was at hand. If God had answered their prayer sooner, John would have come too soon. If they had had other children before John, the miraculous hand of God would not have been evident in his birth.

Our greatest privilege on earth is to be a part of God's story of love and redemption to the world. And the way we learn our part is through prayer. Through the long, hard nights of prayer, when we do not feel it is being heard, and when we are tempted to faint and give up hope.

But don't give up hope! Keep praying! God hears you. He is not slow. Your cries have reached Him. Your petition was heard. As soon as you prayed an answer was given.

Wait for it.

Put It Away!

2011-07-26T09:54:00.000-07:00

One of our family rules is:

If you get something out, put it away.

Confession time: my kids aren't very good at that.

Another confession time: I am not very good at that. I mean to be good at it. I want to be good at that. I plan on being good at that.

But I am not. Sigh.

Note: this is NOT my desk. My is MUCH less messy. Really.

It is just that I get stuff out to get started on a project and then get started and begin making headway, and then get called away to some other need, and then get a phone call, and then put a load of laundry in, and then see something else that needs to get done, and then get hungry, and then get distracted by another job, and then remember an email that needs to get sent, and then (while I am on the computer) check Facebook, and then........

By the time I return to the original "scene of the crime" of the half-begun but not yet finished project I have to start making dinner. But I don't put it all away, because I am going to sit down and finish it right after dinner!!! Really, I am. And then......

There are lots of distractions, but it is the putting away that is the problem.

Like laundry. I can get it washed and dried easily. But then it might sit in the basket, permanently setting the wrinkles for a while. But we pull it out, I read aloud, and the kids fold. Okay, two-thirds done.

But then, getting it put away. Sigh....

Note: to all you neat, together, check your list off, house all clean, type of Moms who have no clue what I am talking about and always put everything thing away the moment you should....you sort of irritate me and convict me and I think you should get off the computer and go dust something- that is if you can find something that even needs to be dusted! If not, come to my house- you can definitely find something to dust here!

As I was reading the end of Ephesians 4 the other day I saw this in a whole new light. It says:

Let all bitterness and wrath and anger and clamor and slander be put away from you, along with all malice. And be kind to one another, tender-hearted, forgiving each other, just as God in Christ also has forgiven you.

Ephesians 4:31,32

Now these verses are so chock-full of so many important things, it is hard to concentrate in on one of them, but possibly because of my ailment of "not-putting-away-what-you-get-out-itis" I was struck by the intentional, purposeful determined action of putting away.

Just think how different the atmosphere in our homes would be if every time we wanted to let bitterness out we put it away instead.

Or when the wrath and anger started building up we put it away.

Or how about clamor or slander- put it away.

Don't leave all the bad, ugly selfishness lying around, making a mess, and cluttering up the place. Because the mess that is made with bitterness and wrath and clamor destroys relationships and hurts hearts and looks NOTHING like Jesus.

So what have you left lying around? You might want to go put it away. I would write more about it, but I have some serious cleaning up and putting away to do!!!!

Is There Any Other Explanation?

2011-07-14T20:24:00.000-07:00

I got to go to my 30th high school reunion this past weekend. That made me feel seriously old. I mean, have I really been out of high school for THIRTY years? But after I got over the shocking realization that I really had graduated Three! Decades! Ago!... well after that I had a fantastic time. It was so great to see friends and catch up on each other's lives.

Of course, one of the first questions was, "Do you have any children?"

Hmmmm......well yes, as a matter of fact I do. Seven.

"SEVEN!?!?" they would exclaim in half statement and half question.

What could possibly be my reason for having so many children in the midst of culture that tells us that children are expensive and demanding and difficult?

Jesus. That is my only explanation.

But as I was thinking about that question and that explanation while I was "running" the other morning, I start thinking about Shadrach, Meshach, and Abedneggo. I had just been studying their amazing story in Daniel 3. In the account they are required to bow down to a golden statue but they will not turn their backs on God. And when they refuse, the King throws them into a fiery furnace.

They willingly go in the fiery furnace knowing God COULD save them although they were not sure if He WOULD. But they served God, remained faithful, and left the results in His hands.

And God showed up. Right in the middle of the flames.

And when they came not, not a hair was singed. Not a piece of clothing was scorched. And they didn't even smell like smoke!

I can't even sit near a campfire without the smell of smoke permeating ever fiber I have on!

But as they came out, and the king and his servants saw them, and they saw their condition and did not smell the smoke....

They were left with no other explanation.

It HAD to be God.

Just listen to King Nebuchadnezzar:

“Praised be the God of Shadrach, Meshach, and Abednego, who has sent forth his angel and has rescued his servants who trusted in him, ignoring the edict of the king and

giving up their bodies rather than serve or pay homage to any god other than their God!...

For there exists no other god who can deliver in this way.”

Daniel 3: 28-29

There was just no other explanation. God is the only One that fit. God was the piece to the puzzle, the key to the door, the answer to the question, the cipher to the riddle.

What about me? What about me has no other explanation but Jesus?

I have a lot of children, but so do families of other religions or families of no religion.
I homeschool, but there are lots of people who homeschool with no religious faith.
I am a stay-at-home Mom, married a long time, go to church every Sunday kind of girl.

But really....in the long run.....there are lots of people who do these things for lots and lots of reasons.

All I know, in my deepest knower, is that I want my life to be lived in a way that if someone was to see it, examine it, and yes, even SMELL it, it would not make sense...

Not without the explanation, the key, the answer:

Jesus!

And the Verdict Is....

2011-07-11T06:37:00.000-07:00

If someone was out to take me to court, what could they find to accuse me of? And would it be easy to prove I am guilty of the alleged crime?

Lately, many people around the country have been completely mesmerized by the Casey Anthony trial and now most find themselves completely enraged by the verdict which seems so wrong. I am old enough to remember with exact clarity the moment of the OJ Simpson verdict (I was in a Taco Bell drive-thru) and the sense of injustice that verdict brought.

But just recently I was thinking about being brought to trial myself after reading my friend's blog where she posted this quote:

If I were accused in court of being a Christian, would there be enough evidence to convict me?

What a great question- disturbing, but great. Is there enough evidence in my life that there would be no doubt to anyone who looked at me that I am a Christian?

But that question got taken a bit further for me during my Daniel study this week when I read about how some men in Babylon who were jealous of Daniel were trying to get rid of him:

Then these men said, "We shall not find any ground of accusation against this

Daniel unless we find it against him with regard to the law of his God.

Dan. 6:5

So apparently not only could Daniel been found guilty of being a Believer in Jehovah as the first quote asked, but according to this THAT IS THE ONLY THING THEY COULD ACCUSE HIM OF!

Just think about it! The only way that these men could bring Daniel down was to make his belief and the practice of his belief in the One, True God illegal. There was NOTHING else to bring against him!

Could that be said of me?

Could that be said of you?

But, back to Daniel.

After he knows that evil men have set out to entrap him, what do you think Daniel does? Does he go "into his prayer closet" to pray so no one will see him? Does he keep his devotion to God hidden so that no one can catch him?

No. He goes to the big window on the roof chamber (you know- up high, where everyone can see), just like he always had, and prayed. Just like he always had.

Just like his enemies hoped he would. Because they wrote the law just so his consistent devotion to God would make it impossible for him to not break the law. In fact, Daniel's consistent devotion to God was their only hope of bringing him down.

And they did bring him down.

Straight into the lion's den.

Of course that is not the end of the story. God sent His angel (Dan. 6:22) to shut the mouths of the lions and to protect him so that,

no injury whatever was found on him, because he had trusted in his God.

Dan. 6:23

In many places around the world Believers have to make a Daniel-like decision every day because for them to choose to believe and to choose to follow God means to choose to be willing to face the lions. And often the "mouths of the lions" are not shut.

In America....

In America, we think we are suffering for Jesus if we still go to church when the air conditioning doesn't work.

We have both the blessing and the curse of living in a country where we can believe and live out that belief to a certain degree and it can cost us nothing.

We won't lose our homes.

We won't lose our jobs.

We won't lose our children.

We won't lose our lives.

At least, not yet.

But the day may come......

But whatever happens in the future, whatever it may someday cost to live as a Christian in our country, the decision I have before me now is how will I live today.

Today I want to live in such a way that the court would have such overwhelming evidence against me that they would have to find me guilty of being a Christian. There would be no other option.

I want to live in such a way that if I have enemies who want to find me guilty of something THE ONLY THING they can find to accuse me of is my belief in and my devotion to Jesus Christ.

What about you. What do you want to be found guilty of?

Happy Dependence Day

2011-07-06T07:00:00.000-07:00

I LOVE the 4th of July.

What a great holiday- fun, games, food, family, and no presents!

This year was a lot of fun and we managed to make it to two different parties. Unfortunately we are living in a place with extreme drought conditions which on the 4th of July means.....No Fireworks. (Clarification- it is not unfortunate that we live here, just unfortunate there is a drought- just wanted to make that clear!)

Sigh. So very, very sad. At least for me, because I LOVE fireworks! Especially if there is patriotic music going on in the background.

July the 4th is a great holiday and a day, as Americans, we celebrate and hopefully feel gratitude for the independence of our country. Americans love being independent and free!

I have been struck at the price at that freedom very strongly this year. Maybe it is because of doing lots of reading on the American Revolution this past school year and realizing the improbable victory with which we were blessed. Maybe it is from knowing families whose husbands or sons or wives or daughters are overseas now and who face danger every day. There is the danger the military member faces, but also, having been the military spouse left at home I know the loneliness and pain and fear of that position.

I also just read a fantastic book that brought home to me what some have had to endure in the past in order for all of us to have freedom today. It is a book titled Unbroken and it is an amazing tale of survival amidst unimaginable and interminable pain and suffering. It is the story of Louis Zamperini who as a boy was in trouble with the law, as a young man was an Olympic runner, and as an adult during World War II was a prisoner of war for years in notorious Japanese prisons. The stories of his life in those prisons were horrific and the long term consequences of all that suffering could have ruined the rest of his life, but.... well I won't ruin the story for you. But read it!

I think the convergence of having just read that book and celebrating Independence Day made some verses in Ephesians leap out at me like never before.

When Paul wrote to the Ephesians he was a prisoner in Rome. But instead of complaining of that fact or speaking against the Romans or his situation he does something remarkable- he doesn't even mention them. Instead he writes this:

For this reason I, Paul, the prisoner of Christ Jesus for the sake of you Gentiles... Eph. 3:1

and...

I, therefore, the prisoner of the Lord, entreat you to walk in a manner worthy of the calling with which you have been called... Eph 4:1

The Romans just thought Paul was their prisoner. He wasn't. He was Jesus' prisoner.

There are several defining characteristics in the life of a prisoner:

You can only go where your captor allows you to go
You can only do what your captor tells you to do
You must get up when your captor says and sleep when your captor says and work when your captor says
Your life is no longer your own- your life belongs to your captor

But the deal was that Paul did not see his captor as the Romans even though there were Roman chains that bound him. Yet he most definitely did recognize that he had a Captor- it is just that his Captor was Jesus.

He was a prisoner of Christ.

And he would go where Jesus told him to go and do what Jesus told him to do and get up, and sleep, and work when Jesus told him to. His life was no longer his own- it belonged to Jesus.

Today, as an American, I celebrate my independence! My freedom!

But today, as a follower of Jesus Christ, I want to proclaim that I am a prisoner. My life is not my own. I am totally and completely dependent upon my Captor.

I will go where He tells me to go.
I will do what He tells me to do.
I will get up, sleep, and work when and how He tells me to.

As Steven Curtis Chapman would say (or rather sing), "This is my declaration of dependence!"

I. Am. A. Prisoner. Of. Jesus. Christ.

Get God Out of the Box

2011-07-01T07:22:00.000-07:00

Have you ever put God and His purposes in a box?

If things don't work out well, does that automatically mean we are out of God's will?

If a relationship dies, should we have never entered it?

If a business fails, should we have never started it?

If circumstances are difficult and wearisome, have we just made a wrong turn, or has God looked away, or does He want things to be difficult for us?

If we think we have felt God leading us in a certain direction and have seen confirmation in Scripture and we do it and it ends up in a mess...did we hear God wrong?
Or did we actually just walk in the flesh?
Or is God just some cosmic professor who is putting us in difficult situations to test us and see how we can handle them?

I have had these questions rolling around in my mind yesterday after a coffee with a young friend who was relaying some issues in her life that just hadn't worked out like it seemed they should. She had only moved forward after prayer and the leading of Scripture, sooooo.........why did it not "work out"?

I also have had these questions myself, after this past year. We have had several situations come crashing down in our lives, and as I have walked amongst the rubble, I have wondered, "Lord, I thought You wanted us to go this direction. I don't understand. Did I hear You wrong? Are You in this?" Can I stand among the ruins and still believe?

These are tough questions, and sometimes Believers don't want to admit to such questions. I mean, they don't sound like someone walking in great faith and victory.

But David had them and Elijah had them. Should I be surprised that I have them?

As I was ruminating on these questions this morning, the Lord brought to mind:

“For My thoughts are not your thoughts,

Nor are your ways My ways,” declares the LORD.

“For as the heavens are higher than the earth,

So are My ways higher than your ways

And My thoughts than your thoughts.

“For as the rain and the snow come down from heaven,

And do not return there without watering the earth

And making it bear and sprout,

And furnishing seed to the sower and bread to the eater;

So will My word be which goes forth from My mouth;

it will not return to Me empty,

Without accomplishing what I desire,

And without succeeding in the matter for which I sent it.

Isaiah 55:8-11

Why do I try to put God in a box?

Why do I assume God's goals and designs are human ones?

We judge the rightness and goodness of a thing by success and happiness and by it looking like what we think it is supposed to look like.

We judge by the results.

But just look at Abraham. God called him to go to Canaan so he could make his descendants as numerous as the stars and so that He could bless the whole world through him. But Abraham didn't have his one and only child with Sarah until he was one hundred and when he died 55 years later, Isaac had only two more sons. I doubt to Abraham they looked like they were going to be as numerous as the stars of heaven!

Had Abraham made a mistake?

Had he heard God wrong?

Was he not supposed to move to Canaan? Was he not supposed to be married to Sarah? Was God not blessing them or fulfilling His promises?

Did Abraham ever wonder those things? Or did he just decide to obey God, go where God led, do what God said, and leave the results in the Hands of the One Who created the universe?

From our vantage point on this side of history, we can certainly tell that God did exactly what He said He was going to do, but have you ever wondered how it felt to Abraham?

I have more questions than answers today, but here are some things I know:

God's ways are not my ways.

God is in control, even when I don't understand what is going on.

God's plans are much bigger than my success or my happiness or my paycheck.

So sit back and watch the Lord. I think He wants to do things we could never even imagine.

But we have got to stop putting Him into our box.

He really doesn't fit.

Now to him who is able to do immeasurably more than all we ask or imagine,

according to his power that is at work within us, to him be glory in the church and in Christ Jesus throughout all generations, for ever and ever! Amen.

Ephesians 3:20-21

No Limits!

2011-06-27T07:23:00.000-07:00

Americans don't like limits.

Just think about it. We created the "super-size". One gallon of carbonated drink per person please!

When all the kids were little, we would stop by a gas station and get two of the ginormous fountain drinks- the biggest size they had. It would usually be just a little bit more expensive than one that you could actually hold with one hand. But we only had to buy two for all of us and we would just pass it around the van. Ah, I still remember those sweet moments:

"Hey, you are taking too much!"

"Mom! He won't share!"

"It is my turn!"

"Yuck. You slobbered on the straw!"

No one could grow up a germ-a-phobe in our family! Oh, how I miss those days, back when parenting was easy!

But, back to the point. We (people in general) don't like limits.

Just think of the all-you-can-eat buffet. Who really thought that was a good idea? No limits on food? Really? It must have been invented by the makers of Rolaids and Tums.

And most Americans, at least the ones who enjoy dreaming of one day being on the Nascar circuit, speak dreamily of the German Autobahn. We get a far-away look in our eyes and say in a dreamy voice, "Just think. No speed limits!" I lived in Germany and got to drive on the Autobahn and, sigh, it was wonderful....

But we all have limits in our lives.

We have speed limits because there are so many cars on our roads and there is no way it would be safe if we didn't limit the legal speed. I know, I have contributed three young, male, "dreaming of Nascar" drivers to the roads and personally come from a long line of "lead foot syndrome" drivers.

And there are limits to how much we can eat at the all-you-can-eat buffet- like our pants! Even elastic can only stretch so far.

Isn't there anything without limits? Maybe the quest for no limits is what leads people to do crazy things, like tie a rubber band around their ankle and jump from a suspension bridge! But even bungee jumpers have limits- the length of their bungee.

But God has given us something that we can participate in fully WITHOUT ANY LIMITS!

This past Sunday our pastor brought up the passage in Galatians 5 about the fruit of the Spirit. I have always been puzzled at the last phrase of the sentence, because it always seemed to not quite fit.

"But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, self-control; against such things there is no law." Galatians 5:22,23

I always wondered at that last phrase- of course there is no law against love or patience! What did Paul mean?

But our Pastor made a comment that started an "Ah!!!!" moment for me.

The point is not that there is no law against love, but that there is no legal limit to how much you may love. There is no restriction to how long to have patience. There is no rule to the quantity of kindness. There is no commandment to cut-off the self-control. There is no regulation to contain the joy.

I get to love for as long and as deep and as wide as I have breath for.

There. Are. No. Limits.

Against such things there is no law.

Amazing.

So, I can jump on the Autobahn of Joy and throw open the throttle and let her rip.

Super-size that patience for me, if you please!

An all-you-can-eat buffet serving kindness, goodness, peace, and gentleness? Bring it on! Even my elastic can't restrict it!

So enjoy your Fruit today- no limits, no restrictions, no controls. Just think what we would look like if the Spirit was producing Fruit in our lives and it was Out Of Control!!!

Oh, that it might be so.

What Am I Choosing to Do?

2011-06-24T06:17:00.000-07:00

Margin- that empty space around the page with nothing filling it.

I have had my book so long, there is a different
cover. But since 175,000 people have bought this
book I guess I am not the only one who needs
some margin!

There is a book called Margin the uses that illustration to describe how we should live our lives with empty space in it. That every single moment of our lives should not be filled with activity but there should be room.

I know about this book because I have owned it for about 14 years. I have never read it. But I own it. I have, however, read the back of the book and have been told about the book and have put it on my bedside table intending to read it, so I am highly qualified to discuss its merits......maybe I will read it this summer.

I was thinking about it yesterday for the very same reason that I bought it 14 years ago. I think I need margin in my life. Maybe if I had more "margin" in my life I would have time to read the book!

Yesterday morning, as I was "running" I was thinking about how long it had been since I had written on this blog. I had THOUGHT about writing several times, but a window of time never seemed to open up. Last week I helped out with a huge wedding- I have a blog post roaming around in my head, just waiting to get out about that one. There are few other blog posts trying to elbow their way to the front of the line as well.

But the crux of the matter is that unless I take the time, sit down and write, these posts will always just be ideas in my head and never words on the page.

Which leads me to one of my major sayings of life:

Every time I choose to do one thing,

I am choosing to not do several others.

Rocket science, I know.

But, seriously, this saying has been very liberating to me.

I have NEVER been able to get everything done that I need to get done. NEVER.

That simple fact has caused a great deal of guilt and consternation in my life, because I have always had the sneaking suspicion that there are actually people who DO get it all done.

But not me. I am, after all, a two-handed, finite, bi-ped with many faults and short comings who can only get one thing at a time done...

Um, okay, who am I kidding. What mother EVER gets one thing at a time done. I can M.U.L.T.I.T.A.S.K with the best of them. But honestly, when I get in Major Multitask Mode (or MMM for short) the people around me seem to become hindrances or obstacles. They tend to muck up the works, don't you know. So for the safety and emotional stability of my children it is probably safest for me to limit my major moments of MMMing to a minimum.

But back to my saying- which I am not sure who to attribute it to...

Even this morning, choosing to write about....something, I am not really sure what....I am choosing to do one thing and not to do many, many others. For instance, we have company coming in today. Maybe your house is always company ready, but ours tends to need to be brought up a level or two when visitors are on the way.

In fact, when we are having trouble getting the house clean we have been known to invite people over just to force the issue!

So, right now, I am CHOOSING to sit here and write, instead of scurrying and cleaning the last few remnants of our life so that our guests have No Idea how we really live!

Last night, I chose to read a Christian historical fiction book (a summertime indulgence) rather than trying to finish painting a coffee table I have been working on.

And even earlier, I had chosen to go to a Bible Study (there is sooo much I want to share out of what I am learning in Daniel) instead of staying home and mopping the kitchen floor or hanging pictures in our rearranged son's/guest room (which is a nice way of saying, when the guests come in he has to move out!)

Martin the Warrior!

Yesterday, when I had no time for it At All, I chose to sit down on the sofa with my two youngest and read Mossflower with them. We love the Redwall series of books, and while I have read them out loud to my older children- with great gusto and many voices and accents of course- I had never read them to the youngest. But sometimes snuggling with your girlies and diving into the life of a warrior mouse is the very best choice of all!

This makes me thing of Jesus and His admonition to Martha after she fusses at Jesus about her sister Mary who was sitting at the feet of the Lord instead of Getting Stuff Done!

Martha, Martha, you are worried and troubled

about many things, but one thingis needed.

Mary has chosen the best part; it will not be taken away from her.”

Luke 10:41,42

So what will you choose today? What will you choose to do and what will you choose not to do?

I am going to try to chose "the best part"- want to join me?

How to Stay Married!

2011-06-13T07:58:00.000-07:00

We just celebrated our 27th wedding anniversary, which has got me to thinking.

Dating in 1982

First of all, I must be a lot older than I feel, because if I can still add, and I have been married 27 years and got married when I was 21, then I am....well, you do the math.

Second of all, and more importantly, how, in a world of happiness-driven, romance-obsessed, self-oriented people and messages, do people even stay married anymore?

We were so young and clueless when we got married. We didn't think we were....but we were.

But we did say, right from the beginning, that divorce was not an option. No way. No how. If we had problems, we were going to have fix them, because neither one of us was going anywhere!

That commitment made and still makes all the difference. And as I thought about it a little last week, the story of the oyster glue came to mind. God gave oysters this very special glue that hangs on through storms and floods and droughts and high tide and low tide. It hangs on through everything. Man has never invented it's equal. So my first thought was that the picture of a long, successful marriage was one where two oysters were hanging on, to each other, by means of their special glue.

But then I realized I was wrong.

If they hung on to each other they would be tossed about in the wind and storm and waves, and there would be no stability.

No. The picture is rather, two oysters, side by side, hanging on tenaciously with the strongest oyster glue ever, to The Rock.

The Rock.

I love Thee, O Lord, my strength.

The Lord is my rock and my fortress

and my deliverer,

My God, my rock, in whom I take refuge;

My shield and the horn of my salvation,

my stronghold.

Ps. 18:1,2

Because unless The Rock, the foundation, the base, is secure and stable and strong, you can hang on to each other all you like but you won't be safe.

The problem with us people (oysters) is that we are so fickle. So moody. So wavering in our feelings and thoughts. We might do great for a while, but then something bad happens, or something irritating, or something frustrating, or something negligent. And then, if left to ourselves, we would just let go of our oyster partner.

How much better if we are hanging on to The Rock. To God. Because, God does not waver. God does not change. God is not moody. God is always there.

So I (in my lovely oyster shell) hang on.
And my sweet Oyster hangs on too.

To God.

Right next to each other.

And the storms rage. And the waves beat. And the tides rise and fall.

And because of The Rock...
And because of the glue He made and gave to us...

And because we choose to use it...

Because of that....after 27 years....in contrast to the world around us who give up when it is hard and leave when it is not what they thought it would be....we are still married.

Still hanging on to The Rock.

Right next to each other.

That is how we stayed married for 27 years. What is your secret?

Continual Feasting

2011-06-07T06:30:00.000-07:00

All the days of the afflicted are bad,

But a cheerful heart has a continual feast.

Proverbs 15:15

I love good food.

I enjoy making good food and I enjoy eating good food. And I LOVE making a great meal for my family and friends and having them love it and feel loved and cared for at my table.

Sometimes though, the food becomes the issue. Or the centerpiece and decorations take over. Or having just the right theme for the evening. Or making everything match. Or... , or.... , or.....

So many things can become important, but the most important thing.... Well, it might get forgotten.

I was reminded of that this evening as I sat around my table with my family. Our "feast" was pancakes and bacon. Let's just say the pictures of the evening did not belong in a magazine.

There was a hodge podge of different plates (and please don't tell anyone, but some were even plastic.) The table had not been set so someone was always asking for something:

"Can you get me a fork?"

"Would you pour me some milk?"

"Is there any more syrup?"

It was a simple, easy, basic dinner (and as I say that I feel the need to reassure you that, yes, I do know pancakes are traditionally served as breakfast, but another of our oddities- we prefer them for dinner.) Yes, there was nothing special. And it was a feast.

Not because of the menu.

Not because of the dinnerware.

Not because of the fancy centerpiece.

No.

It was a feast because we were there. Together. And no napkins were in laps. And there were most definitely elbows on the table. And we laughed with each other- and okay, sometimes at each other. And we played. And wrestled- at the table- please don't tell my Mother! We talked with our mouths full and told stories on top of each other. And enjoyed each other's presence.

And I wouldn't have traded it for steak or caviar or lobster or the best restaurant in town.

It. Was. A. Feast.

All the days of the afflicted are bad,

But a cheerful heart has a continual feast.

Proverbs 15:15

How to Have "More"!

2011-06-01T21:17:00.000-07:00

There are two ways to get enough.

One is to continue to accumulate more and more.

The other is to desire less.

-G.K. Chesterton

"Make $10,000 a month from your home!"

"Play the lotto!"

"Join my team selling _____(vitamins, cleaning products, etc.)"

You will get rich!

And have everything you ever wanted!

And be happy!

And have everything you ever wanted!

And have money!

And have everything you ever wanted!

Really?

Can we really ever have everything we want?

Is there ever an end to the stuff we can want?

Once we get one of the things we want, don't we just tend to want something else?

In America it seems we are surrounded by so much stuff. So many opportunities to buy more stuff. So many claims to our wallets and our cash (or our credit cards).

But when I ran across the quote above from one of my favorite Englishmen, G.K. Chesterton, I was struck by the succinct way he stated the most obvious of truths.

There are two ways to get enough.

One is to continue to accumulate more and more.

The other is to desire less.

-G.K. Chesterton

OH. Oh, I get it. To have more, I need to want less.

Truly, the only reason it doesn't seem like I have enough is because of the mental list of things that I have rolling through my mind of what I want but can't afford to buy.

That list makes me feel like I Don't Have Enough.

But if I didn't want any of it.....

Then I would have enough. Right now. With what I have. With what is in cupboard. With what is in the closet. With what is in the garage.

Right now.

ENOUGH. Enough. enough.

Whew. I feel better already.

Make sure that your character is free from the love of money,

being content with what you have; for He Himself has said,

“I WILL NEVER DESERT YOU, NOR WILL I EVER FORSAKE YOU”

Heb 13:5

So, do you want to join me? You want to have more? Then want less!

Am I "Running" or Running?

2011-05-29T22:26:00.000-07:00

After a many year hiatus (never you mind HOW long), I have started "running" again. There was something about realizing that the old adage, "you ain't getting any younger!" was feeling very applicable to me that helped jump start me to strap on my shoes and hit the road.

Well, first I had to go shopping for new and improved running shoes of course, because as any girl can tell you, there is nothing like a new pair of shoes to make something miserable seem more fun! Also, after I actually spent ridiculous amounts of hard-earned cash on a pair of shoes it sort of drove me to actually run. The guilt alone is a motivator.

So I started "running".

You might wonder about the running in asterisks. Why the " " around the word running?

Well......

I have too many friends and relations who run- no asterisks required. They clock their distances in miles and it sometimes takes two digits to reflect how far they ran. At one time. We are talking 5ks, 10ks, 1/2 marathons, even full marathons.

I even have one friend, one with whom I shared the joys of having a first born together. We lived in Germany with our Air Force husbands and would get our one-year olds together to play. She now participates in Ironman competitions.

Me? Not so much. I am not quite there just yet.

Okay, I am nowhere close.

But realizing what their running looks like I could not in good conscience exactly call what I am doing running. Not without asterisks. I have too much respect for my friends and family and what they can do. And too much envy.

I, instead, am "running". I have thought of other words that might more accurately describe what I do: shuffle, walk, drag my carcass, limp, stumble. There are others, but I want this to be a "G" rated blog.

And then there are the noises I make. I will spare you the pain of hearing them described.

So the other day I was "running", walking, shuffling and limping and passed by some vultures (we live in the country) on the side of the road cleaning up the road kill and I began thinking that they were looking at me for an uncomfortably long time. Like maybe they were thinking it might be worth it to follow me and see if I would drop.

One of my consolations to my self-imposed torture is to listen to praise music on my ipod. There are some times when I am shuffling and panting along and willing myself to make one step at my slightly faster than walking pace and a song will come on and almost make me forget my pain. And sometimes I will "lift" my hands (they barely get above my head, so I have to put lift in asterisks too!) and praise God in way that is so heartfelt and deep- maybe because of the pain and effort rather than in spite of it.

And so, as I have struggled to regain anything that would resemble being "athletic" or "in shape" (requires asterisks too!) I began thinking about running verses. Ones like:

I Corinthians 9:24

Do you not know that those who run in a race all run, but only one receives the prize?

Run in such a way that you may win.

Or there is:

Hebrews 12:1

Therefore, since we have so great a cloud of witnesses surrounding us,

let us also lay aside every encumbrance and the sin which so easily entangles us,

and let us run with endurance the race that is set before us.

I am supposed to be running my spiritual race with endurance.

Even "running" with endurance.

I am supposed to keep going. To keep believing that "running" is better than not doing anything at all and will in the end produce whatever good the Lord desires.

I mean, if the benefits from faithful, dedicated running are true on a physical plain, how much more on a spiritual one. Right?

But similar to my "running" on my physical streets, I am also often "running" my spiritual race that is set before me and it could also often be better described as shuffling, limping, or dragging my carcass along.

And it may not be pretty. And the vultures might be observing me with anticipation. And I might think and wonder if this race is really worth it.

I mean, am I really doing anything worthwhile at all? Does it even matter? What am I accomplishing? Why not just give up? After all life can be hard and people can disappoint and things just might not turn out like I thought they would. At all.

Why keep "running"?

Because.

Because keeping running is exactly what my Lord called me to do. Even if what I do looks more like "running" than running. He didn't ask me to be an Olympic athlete in either the physical realm or in the spiritual realm.

He asked me to be an obedient daughter and servant to the King.

He told me to get out there and run that race. So even when it feels like all I am doing is "running" I need to keep going. Not because I can accomplish something but because He. Told. Me. To.

So tomorrow I will strap on my cute new shoes and hit the road again (hopefully not from falling over face first, but in a more figurative sense). I will "run" past the vultures. I will shuffle past the barking dogs. I will limp up the hill.

And I will feebly lift my hands.
And I will praise my King.
And I will obey.
Until He calls me home.

Therefore I run in such a way, as not without aim;

I box in such a way, as not beating the air; but I discipline my body and make it my slave, so that, after I have preached to others, I myself will not be disqualified.

I Corinthians 9:26,27

Whatcha Lookin' At?

2011-05-18T08:37:00.000-07:00

Do you ever wonder what people really see when they look at you?

What stands out?

Or maybe the better question is, what do you hope stands out? What do you hope others will see in you?

Are We Really Going to Talk About Circumcision?
I have been reading through Galatians this week. After reading through the first three chapters, I have to admit, I smugly thought to myself, "Well, maybe I will get more out of the last three chapters." I have read Galatians many times, and was anxious for the "good" stuff at the end.

But then my patient, loving, and long-suffering Lord cleared His throat at me (I mean, allegorically of course) and I began to wonder if maybe there was something deeper there for me after all.

So what are the first three chapters about? Circumcision.

Maybe you can understand why that one did not grab my heart. I mean, well, after all....I am a girl. It is just not something I struggle with as a personal issue.

But God, who wastes nothing, and is always saying more than we can ever understand, was not just addressing circumcision here. Circumcision was just the example to use to address an issue of the heart.

Paul is fussing at the people in Galatia because they started saying that in order to be saved and to be part of the church you had to be circumcised. And he didn't want them relying on their flesh at all.

Does that mean circumcision is a bad thing? I hope not, since God is the One who came up with the idea in the first place. I mean, I doubt Abraham, a 90 year old man, would have ever woken up and said, "Hey, I have a great idea!" No God thought it up. And Abraham had to have a lot of faith to believe God and follow through. Can't you just imagine the looks on all the men's faces as Abe explains what God told him they all needed to do?

But what was the point of circumcision? It was an outward sign of an inward relationship. It was visual proof. It set you apart. It served a purpose. It was a good thing.

So why was Paul against it? It was, after all, God's idea.

I really don't think Paul was against circumcision itself. He was against it being a benchmark for being a part of the church.

"knowing that a man is not justified by the works of the Law

but through faith in Christ Jesus."

Galatians 2:16

The early church was beginning to add more and more things onto the checklist for being a part of the church, circumcision just being one of them. And we can all be prone to coming up with our "checklist".

But the problem with a checklist is that it can be confusing. Because it is much easier to fix up the outside to look "right", at least according to the checklist, than worry about the inside. But it is easy to be fooled that if I or anyone else looks good and proper on the outside, then they (or I) must be fine on the inside too.

And this is where I realized that these passages pertained mightily to me. Because I have worried often about how I and my family are perceived. How are we seen? What do people think?

Who cares? Me, quite often. Unfortunately.

Jesus addresses those who worried about the outside instead of the inside with this sobering illustration:

"Woe to you...hypocrites!

For you are like whitewashed tombs which

on the outside appear beautiful,

but inside they are full of dead men's bones

and all uncleanness.

Even so you too outwardly appear righteous to men,

but inwardly you are full of hypocrisy and lawlessness."

Matthew 23:27, 28

Jesus just told the ones who were most stringently trying to follow the Law that they were FULL of lawlessness! Why? Because the Law wasn't designed to make anyone proud or haughty or unloving. But people can use it to find a list of "things" they need to do and things they need to not do. And then rest in how they look.

And avoid the relationship and the heart altogether.

Here's the Thing

And that was the problem with circumcision. It was a thing. A good thing. But....

The thing had become the focus.

The thing had become the proof.

The thing had become the god.

So, now the question is, what is my THING?

What do I rest on? What do I display as proof? What do others see when they see me?

Which brings me to my favorite Galatians verse:

I have been crucified with Christ; and it is no longer I who live, but Christ lives in me;

and the life which I now live in the flesh I live by faith in the Son of God,

who loved me, and delivered Himself up for me."

Galatians 2:20

Jesus.

That is all I want others to see.

Not me. Not my standards. Not my clothes. Not my accomplishments. Not my failures. Not my works. Not my marriage. Not my homeschooling. Not my home. Not my church. Not my children.

Not MY anything.

All those things can just be a white-washed tombs. They can very effectively cover deadness inside.

BUT.

But, if any or all of those things are an overflow of a life lived in the power, love, and grace of my Father, my Savior, my Lord....

then when others look at me they will see Jesus.

So maybe the first few chapters of Galatians had something very powerful for me after all.

What do others see when they see me?

What do they see when the see you?

What is your thing? What is mine?

May it always and forever be Jesus.